The problem of passions has arisen in me often. The thoughts of I have no passions. I have no dreams for the future. I am full of emptiness in the sense of desires.
“I have no passions”
I that might be a little bit of an overstatement. My passions are the Lord and people. I just don’t know what that leads to. I don’t know what careers can be made from that. My passion for people feels like a useless passion. It feels pointless to not have passions or talents outside of that. But that is not true.
I am who I am.
I enjoy people with a passion.
After spending a few hours with Mady and Rachel, I have a new perspective. I am so thankful for their insight otherwise I would blindly be wondering what use my passions were. They gave me lots of kind and wise words. Lots of affirmation.
I have a perspective of this is why I am here on the World Race, in Albania 7000 miles away from home. I am here to love people. I am here to passionately enjoy people and make relationships. I am called to the ends of the earth simply to love the lord and the people around me.
It’s hard to walk around feeling like a lame-o for not having any dreams. I realize now that God is my dream. I am completely open to anything he has for me. Who knows maybe it means a lifetime of missions. I will be full of Joy no matter where he leads me. Until he leads me and even after I will continue to love God with all my heart and I will continue to love people passionately.
This week I am challenging myself to love even more passionately. I am challenging myself to be more intentional with the people on my team and the people here in Kombinat. I am not going to be afraid to talk to people in coffee shops, I will step out of my comfort zone for the Lord.
The ministry we have been doing has been awesome. We help in the kitchen, we teach English classes, and some of us teach instruments. It’s the in between that has been getting to me. The in between points of doing nothing. The points where I feel useless. This is what I am going to do this week. I am going to be intentional during those times especially. I know I’m not useless no matter what I tell myself, or the lies satan tells me. I know why I am her, I’ll show satan who’s boss (psst it’s Jesus).
I’ll show productivity through Personal relationship, because I am not useless. That doesn’t mean I’m going to keep track of the number of people I talk to, absolutely not. It means diving deep into relationships, and that isn’t just personal relationship with people. I’m going to productively further my relationship with God. In hopes that I can experience Him more and just want him more.
I’m so fired up, my prayer for myself is that I can just always know that a passion for the Lord and a passion for people are not useless. That is what I’m here for. I also just hope that for you reading this that you aren’t skeptical of your own passions, they’re likely God given, pursue Him in them. Keep that fire burning. Keep on doing what you’re doing!
