In life there are giants that we seemingly cannot conquer. There are mountains that seem un-scalable.
When we reach bumps in the road we can’t help but get into slumps. We can’t help but wallow in our own pity. It pains me to say but I am so guilty of this.
$13,805
My giant. My mountain.
My bump in the road.
My biggest fear.
A year ago I felt so called to go on a long-term mission trip. I was so on fire for preaching the gospel to every corner of the earth.
God where did that fire go? Where is my passion?
Turned off by discouraging numbers. Snuffed out by fear and worry. Fear that I won’t raise enough money to go and be obedient. That I won’t be able to show love to those that need it.
God If you called me to do this why does it feel like I’m going nowhere? Why does it feel like I am not going on this trip?
Father you are the one who used David to slay Goliath. You’re the one who parted the red sea so that your people would be safe. You’re the one who provided mana from heaven for the Israelites. You are my provider why am I still so scared? Why am I still so worried and stressed? If I believe that you can and will make me able to go on this trip then why am I doubting?
As I write this I finally realize what I need to do. I finally realize what giving this up to you means. God, I’m sorry. I am so so sorry. Forgive me for my doubt. Forgive me for my unbelief. God I repent. Break these chains off of me. I will not doubt you again. You will provide. I know that.
My hope is simply that you know God can provide. I wrote this a night before I posted it. When I woke up in the morning I saw 2 donor emails. 2 new donations and all I did was write this and give it to God. He’s so good when you let Him be. Give him your shambles and He will make it new.
