Albania week one.
This week I have been trying to become more vulnerable to these people I will be spending 9 months with. I am trying to let God do his thing in brining us more together.
This week I have been reading Isaiah.
Isaiah 2:22 “Don’t put your trust in mere humans. They are as frail as breath. What good are they?”
This passage hit me hard. I tend to put my trust in people. But I trust God. Here and now and everyday I am saying
“God I trust you”
God I trust you with my family and with my friends. I trust you will keep them under your wing. I trust you will pull them close to you. Thank you Lord for that.
Almost 2 weeks have passed. 2 weeks closer to being home. Currently as I write this that is the one thing on my mind. But don’t get me wrong. I am not counting down the days. I love every moment I spend here. I would not wish to be away from here. I love culture and friendship. I love it here but….
I miss home.
It’s hard.
The other day my sister was up at two in the morning in Arizona. I thank God so much that she was. I needed to talk to her. I needed some shred of home and I know it’s gonna be a while until I can talk to her and not cry. I know I will never stop missing her. I know that every time we worship with Broken Vessels I will always think of Natalie. I know that I will never not think of Austin when I get the urge to adventure. Even listening to music reminds me of people. I even saved Mary Poppins on Spotify just because I needed some memories.
And I am not ashamed.
Missing home is not a weakness. Missing home is not my downfall. I miss home. And I miss my family. And I miss my friends. That doesn’t make me less of a missionary.
That is the less discussed side of life as a missionary. Everyone misses home. We all miss our best friends. We all need comfort and if I’ve learned one thing on this journey so far is that God provides abundantly. I have turned to His word for comfort. And I found it. God has provided comfort through some of my squad mates and in the letters from people back home. I am so grateful for those letters. When I need words of encouragement or just comfort I know God has provided me with wonderful family and friends. I just want to thank you so much. I love you guys.
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On another hand I cut my hair really short. It’s different than anything I’ve done to it lately.
My reasoning is simple.
I need to be open to change. I need to be open to growth. I want God to burn and grow within me like a wildfire.
My hair is just hair. I need not put value in things outside of Christ. I am still working on that. But God’s got me I know it.
I will be a changed man. At the end of the Race people will be in awe of who I have become. I will be in awe. I won’t quit changing until everything within me points to Jesus. Until my life can prove the existence of a wonderful Savior.
Jesus I am fully surrendered to you.
