After the Philippines, I really processed that month with the Lord, my journey, and how I could have seized the moments more and pressed more into my team. It was going to be nice to step into Thailand and take fresh breath of air. I mean this in the nicest way to say this but it was nice to get a break from the girls, step into a different country, culture and just be with the guys. I just wanted to take two steps back and refocus.
The first night I was feeling a little achy, nothing to concern myself with, just thought it was aches and pains from traveling. I was laying there, recapping the Philippines, the poverty I witnessed, recognizing what my stumbling block was and how I could have gone deeper with God, ministry and my team. I mean it wasn’t that bad, I have to give myself some grace but when I look back I could see where there was room for improvement. My heart was deeply attached with ministry, the skits, connecting and making relationships, the feeding programs, going to the hospital, playing basketball with local’s kids, experiencing the Charcoal factory more than anybody would want to but I realized I was hindered by my own agenda. What I was doing was holding on to this situation instead of completely surrendering it.
After all of that pondering The Lord asked “ where do you want to see yourself go with me, ministry, and the team.”
I couldn’t answer him. I just had these visions of where I would like to see myself going in the next 6 months. I don’t think I took enough time to really ask myself that question. I had these sweet visions that put a smile on my heart that night.
I just really wanted to dive into this month and get raw and real. I wanted to get back into a routine with the Lord, start my mornings digging deep in the word, have some crazy runs with some worship, maybe do some mountain climbing with the guys and experience some breath taking paintings only God could draw up.
The first couple of days I was still experiencing dizziness, headaches, and a lot of sweats. I was a mess. By day 4, the guys felt it was best I go to the doctors. Me and Noah went. We arrived at this hospital that looked like a luxury mansion for the sick. I thought it was going to be difficult to get done what we came for with the language barrier but they did have an English translator. The whole time I made jokes, to make light of things. Really the only thing I could do was make the best of it. Noah on the other hand saw it another way. It was time to be serious, you’re sick, your in foreign country and a different culture so grow up pretty much. I do understand but sometimes for me when things are going down I need to make the best of it. Maturity was not an option.
As the doctor was rambling incoherently, I wanted to grab him and ask him what the heck do I have?
This is what I felt like doing. Grace right? 🙂
click the link below for Part 2
Dengue Fever, Nurses and Pink Pajamas? Is this Manistry Month? Part 2
