This month in Cambodia has been hard. Change is hard. Learning the truth is hard. Embracing uncomfortability is hard. Witnessing the reality of this country and their history is hard. Everything is just hard. On top of never wanting to see rice again, never going to complain about a cold room again, sweating constantly, getting bitten every night by weird bugs no matter how much bug spray I put on, possibly having a parasite, and changing teams with different personalities, I’m also living in a country whose painful tragic past of war and genocide still lingers and tries to define the residents of Cambodia. Everyday a new challenge comes, a new fact of the history is brought to my attention and every night I have to be reminded to pray and TRUST God in the midst of all this brokenness. It’s the only thing I’m holding on to. He’s the only hope I have.
For those who need to be reminded of the history of Cambodia, let me give you a nutshell in these next two paragraphs. If you already know the history, feel free to skip the next two paragraphs and I will share my experience of life today after the genocide in Cambodia. I have been taking a lot of notes from residents who live here and who have dedicated their lives to serving the people of Cambodia. I have also taken information from online resources I provided.
Cambodia used to be one of the most largest powerful empires back in 1000 BC. Kings had ruled the land until other countries colonized Cambodia and took over. After they became an independent country, according to endgenocide.org, “The Khmer Rouge (a gang/group) took control of the Cambodian government in 1975-1979, with the goal of turning the country into a communist agrarian utopia (classless society, only farming and trading, no educated people). So they emptied the cities and evacuated millions of people to labor camps where they were starved and abused or/and killed. It is estimated that between 1.7 and 2 million Cambodians died during the 4 year reign of the Khmer Rouge, with little to no outcry from the international community.” I learned that just November of 2018 justice was finally served to two people from the Khmer Rouge. This means they were walking as free men these last 30 years and at 88 years old justice was finally served. While Pol Pot the leading organizer was only on house arrest and died of natural causes within the year he was finally captured 30ish years ago. There has been so much Injustice in this country.
What is life after the Khmer Rouge? According to endgenocide.com, and by what has been confirmed by locals who live here in Cambodia, “rebuilding the country was extremely difficult as there was little foreign aid and all existing infrastructure had been destroyed by Pol Pot’s regime. For a long time, the country did not have any doctors, teachers, engineers, or other professionals because they had all been killed. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder was very prevalent among survivors, though it largely went untreated throughout the 1990s due to the lack of healthcare professionals in the country, as well as a tradition of silence surrounding the atrocities. The level of destruction inflicted by the Khmer Rouge has greatly contributed to the large amounts of poverty that many Cambodians face today.” (http://endgenocide.org/learn/past-genocides/the-cambodian-genocide/)
Today, a strong dark spiritual presence lingers throughout the land. Every single home, business, store, or place that humans reside in owns a miniature temple/altar that is placed at the front of every entryway. I, at first, assumed these were small altars to worship ancestors the way people in Vietnam did, however, I later learned these altars are a place that exists to host evil spirits or demons so that they do not go into their homes. The supernatural world is strongly believed in Cambodia. It’s definitely not a world most Americans believe in or choose to look into. However, I have been hit with the reality of the dark supernatural world that does exist so openly in this country. Through locals, I have heard many stories of witch doctors using voodoo and superstitions to control the villages we serve in, as well as stories of these spirits in the altars that need to be kept out of their home. The idea is quite scary actually, and I only thought these stories existed in horror movies, but I’m learning it’s a reality, and I’m not allowing fear to control me. It honestly makes me cling to God even more this month, and ask him, “What do you want me to do this month? How do you want to use me?”
This month, my new team and I from the World Race get to humbly walk these orange brown dirt roads of Cambodia where all these atrocities have occurred. We are honored to serve alongside YWAM (Youth With A Mission) and bring hope to the children of a remote village. YWAM not only teaches English to the children of the village, but also teaches these children about the hope and love of our God, Jesus Christ. Until you see the reality of these children and their families, hope is a desperate desire that needs to be introduced to their hearts. If you don’t have hope, then what else are you going to hold on to?
Children come to the after school building, our ministry, with smiles on their faces, holes in their shirts, no shoes, dirt all over their clothes, but with a spirit of eagerness to learn. Babies usually walk around naked since diapers are not the norm of the culture, but peeing and pooping on themselves while naked is more convenient than babies pooping in their pants since clothes are washed by hand. There are no washing machines or dryers in the village. Most families are raised by single-mother-homes, since it is the norm to leave your wife and spend time with another woman. It’s not even really called an affair, since it’s expected to happen. Most children are left alone at the age of three to watch themselves. This is the norm since parents were left alone at that age after their families were stolen and killed in the genocide 30 years ago. Parents today had to learn to survive on their own as a child, and now that they have their own children, they believe their child can survive anything as well. So if you see children wandering alone, it’s the norm. Unfortunately, many parents have never recovered or healed from the trauma they experienced in the genocide. It is hard to live life and raise children with a past still haunting you.
On top of this, education is not highly prioritized. With families not having an education, it’s a norm for children to follow their parents footsteps and not finish school. It also makes more sense to help your family out and get a job at an early age so that you can help family with bills or food. The school system makes it difficult to even finish school if you wanted to. Children go to a public school in the morning, but since teachers do not get paid that much, they started a private school business in the afternoon. Teachers then ask families to pay for their child’s education since teachers pour more into those classes in the afternoon than they do in the morning. School is very expensive though – especially the higher level grades. So any possible way to get out of poverty on your own is very complex and difficult.
Thankfully, God opened a door for YWAM to come alongside this village and invest in the children of this community. Our ministry hosts, Justin and Lily, originally from Taiwan, but lived here the last 10 years to invest in this community, has been part of the impact of this village. When they asked the high school students, “What do you want to be when you get out of high school?” Students did not have a response. Simple responses such as, “Whatever my mom is doing, I don’t know,” Or “Farming, I guess” were replied in their language of Khmer. The idea of having a dream of what you want to do outside of the village never crossed their minds. No one ever taught the children to dream. Our ministry hosts had asked them to reflect on what would they want to do if money was not an issue or if there were no barriers blocking their way: “What would you like to be when you grow up?” It took them a week to really reflect on this deep question, and finally responses such as: Be a police officer, be a teacher, be a tour guide, learn English and be a translator were responses. It’s crazy to think how I have came from a culture where “What do you want to be when you grow up?” is a big norm, and then visit a country where that question is non-existent.
Within the last 10 years, progress has been made slowly but surely. The village is still developing. However, children see hope now, they desire a relationship with a God who loves them unconditionally, they desire a reason for the brokenness their families have received for years, and they are so eager to learn English- a language that can take them places outside of their village, outside of their province, outside of their country and across the world. I will share more about my service work with them on my next blog, so stay tuned!
Yes, this blog post is a lot to take in, and there is a lot of brokenness I have been observing, but this is why I believe in God, in Jesus, as someone to hold onto and seek when I don’t understand, when I want to run or cry. He keeps me steady and he’s been asking me to trust him through this process. There’s more to the brokenness I see. There’s more than the darkness that exists. So I cling onto his love, practice trusting him, and I open my heart to whatever he wants to teach me while being the love he wants me to be to everyone I come across.
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Thanks for reading this long post. I understand it could be shorter, but I don’t want to leave out important details. I appreciate your support, and especially all those who have been financially supporting me as well. If you haven’t seen the good news, I only have $1,714 left too fundraise and then I’ll be FULLY FUNDED!!! Right when I was feeling the sadness, I received a big donation from one of my biggest supporters and he helped me get to only $1,714 left, I am super grateful and speechless and I am so excited to get fully funded soon! If you’d like to help me get fully funded, and see where else God is going to take me on this journey, feel free to donate through the orange button above this blog post. Thank you for being a part of this journey with me.
Amen, Jasmine
