Hey ya’ll, I’m back with some more details on my time at Training Camp! (I know, I know, please contain the excitement) As I mentioned in my previous post, Rob Reimer, our speaker, gave lessons on a variety of deep, thought provoking topics. All of the topics we discussed opened up something from my past, but I specifically remember two hitting deeper than the others: dealing with lies, and grieving.
We’ll start with dealing with lies. To this day, I’ve always had a wonderful support system. My parents constantly reinforce their love for me; they regularly affirm my talents, abilities, and passions; and they consistently tell me how proud they are of me. Yes, I would say, I’ve always had a strong support system, and for that I am truly blessed. However, through it all, insecurities have still taken root. (I have no idea why they have, but part of me thinks it’s the inevitable). I listened to the lies of society, the lies of Satan; the lies that tell me, “Jasmine, you aren’t skinny enough”; “You aren’t fast enough”; “Your skin isn’t flawless enough”; “Your story, your testimony isn’t worth telling!” (that’s a big one that I’ve believed for a LONG time); “You don’t have the right personality”, “You’re not smart enough”; “You’re only average in everything you do” “Jasmine.. You. Aren’t. Good Enough.” The lies seem endless.
I’ve always known what the Bible says about me. I’m made in the image of Christ. I’m fearfully and wonderfully made. God shaped me in my mothers womb. He made me for a purpose. Yes, I know all of this in my head, but I’ve realized, for one reason or another, I’ve never TRULY believed it in my HEART! Big difference. Well, my week at training camp was the start to a beautiful change in my life, and I’ll tell you a few moments where the Lord spoke truth into my life.
1. It was near the beginning of the week, and our squad leaders each had to stand up and tell us a little more about themselves. It was Laine’s turn and she stands up and shares, briefly, about her experience on the race and her testimony. At the end, she says “If you have any questions about my testimony or want to hear more about my story, don’t hesitate to ask. It’s a beautiful story.” She then goes on to say, “If you ever think your story’s not worth telling, think again, God wrote it.”
That simple statement spoke volumes into my life. I feel like God gave Laine those words to say directly to me. Why had I never made that connection before?! Of course my testimony is beautiful because God wrote it! It IS worth telling. It’s time I believe this with my heart.
2. After Rob spoke about dealing with lies, we had the opportunity to split into smaller groups and discuss some of the lies we each had been dealing with. I was in a group with two other girls, and after mentioning several different lies we quickly noticed we were struggling with some of the same ones. It was so freeing to realize I wasn’t the only one dealing with these insecurities. Satan always tries to single us out and make us believe we’re the only ones struggling. To be able to talk to fellow squad members, and realize that I’m not in this battle alone put an incredible peace over my heart. A peace only God could have given me.
3. One of the last nights at training camp, we were singing praise and worship songs. I felt the Holy Spirit’s presence so strongly this night, I had chills nearly the entire time. (I had felt His presence every night at the training center, but this night more strongly than the others). The worship was so raw, so beautiful, and during one of the songs, the leader asked us to turn to the person next to us, look them straight into their eyes, and tell that person exactly what we see in their eyes. Jenna was standing next to me. We turn to each other, and when it’s her turn she looks at me directly, and begins speaking words. At the end, she simply says ENOUGH. You are enough! Immediately, I put my head on her shoulder and wept. Just wept! That simple word nearly dropped me to my knees. How long have I felt like I’m not enough, like I’m just not quite there. TOO LONG!! I know in my head that I am, but not in my HEART, and God is slowly tearing the walls of insecurities down.
God’s beginning to put a passion in my heart to free woman of the insecurities, the lies this world tells them. It’s so easy to believe them!! To fall into their trap. I know I’m not there yet, but I’m at the beginning of a beautiful change.
What lies are you believing? What lies has Satan been telling you? You know what the truth is, you know what the Bible says about you, how The Lord really feels about you. It’s time to turn that head knowledge into HEART knowledge.
Freedom is waiting.
