This time last year I worked at Sonic Drive-In as a carhop. Possibly one of the best/worst jobs ever. When people say Jesus calls you to a work place, there is so much truth in that statement. But, working at sonic I honestly didn’t get that many tips. I know what you’re thinking, “You’re supposed to tip at sonic?” I mean its nice. There’s no way someone can survive on just their paycheck there. (My PSA for the day) But whenever I did get tips, I was so excited. I mean $1 is gold baby! But I remember one night I delivered a drink and a burger to this guy and he gave me a tip. I said thank you then walked away and looked to see how much it was. It was 5 DOLLARS. ABRAHAM LINCOLN, PEOPLE!!! I turned around and went back to his car and said, “did you mean to give this to me?” and he just looked at me and was like, “yeah.” I think I may have smiled for the rest of the night, regardless of whether I got another tip or not. This man gave me $5 and that was all I needed for the rest of my shift.
That was a year ago. This morning I woke up to finally spend some time with Jesus after a week hiatus and he reminded me of the story. Honesty moment for Jarren. I spend a lot of time second guessing myself. Am I doing the right thing, are people going to be proud of me, I made another mistake does Jesus really have enough grace for me, I judged that person surely Jesus will take back His love for me. And time and time again I have to reassure myself there is nothing I can do to change God’s love for me. But this morning I woke up and knew that God was going to be so furious with me. I knew that guilt and shame were about to fall because that is what I deserved.
But I woke up and Jesus said, “remember that one time you got a $5 tip and you second guessed it. Remember how the man smiled and said yeah that’s for you. remember how you walked away and lived in joy the rest of the day. That is what I get to do to you every morning. You come to me wanting to know if mercies are truly new every morning, they are. You wonder if my love for you has changed, it hasn’t. But you don’t turn and smile and live in Joy. You wonder when its going to fade, it won’t.
Giving tips isn’t required at Sonic, but it is a choice. God’s grace, love and forgiveness is not required it is a choice. Often times I have a hard time receiving and living in Joy. I still have 10 months to go until I go on the race, but I thank the Lord that He isn’t waiting until then to break me of my ways and submerge me in His love. I’m trying to learn how to wake up every morning, receive my “tip” and live my life joyfully without wondering if one day it won’t be there. I’m trying to stop second guessing His amount of love He has chosen to give to me. But I know I will have my days. And on those days I know He will remind me of the time I received a $5 tip.
