It is hard to believe that it has been a week since I arrived in South Africa. My concept of time at this point is so skewed that I hardly know what day it is.
My team and I are staying in what I would call a suburb of Durban, South Africa. It is called Phoenix. The population is majority Indian and is the largest population of Indians outside of India. I had my first curry dish here and have had quite a bit more since then. Shockingly, it is good.
What has shocked me about South Africa is the vastness of it. It is massive. Throughout the rolling hills surrounding Phoenix is the illumination of peoples homes during the night. It goes on for as far as the eye can see, truly. It is beautiful in a way I have not known beauty before.
Since arriving my team and I have been working with local churches to run Vacation Bible School. It is quite a challenge to corral multitudes of children in an organized fashion and with that I would like to thank the various teachers I have had throughout my life. At nights we have been involved in prayer meetings with the adults of the congregation and also taken part in Bible study.
I had my preconceived notions of the World Race and they certainly have not rung true. Thinking back on that statement, I am not even sure what my expectations were but they were not this. I know that I am only a week in and so on but hear me out.
God is not interested in the things you do to try and win His love. He is not interested in the eloquent words you pour out in prayer. He is not interested in how ‘hard’ you might worship. In preparing lessons for these children I realize that if that is what God wants, then some people are a little worse off than others. How do you tell children that love is dependent upon what you do? Love is dependent upon how poetic your speech is? Or love is dependent upon how loudly you sing? It isn’t!
The love of the Father cannot be won through actions or anything that humans can concoct. In the beginning was the Word. Who am I to think that I can impress the origin of all things with my words of limitation? Who am I to think that the Creator of space and time would be impressed with my small actions?
“But Lord, Lord, didn’t we prophesy in your name, cast out demons and perform miracles in your name?” To which He responds, “I never knew you.”
I am not entirely sure what it means to be in relationship with God, for He is slowly opening up my eyes and ears to that but I know that it goes deeper than anything I can manage. Jesus is my companion and He sent the Spirit to guide me in the way I should go. As much as I struggle with what love means in the purest sense of the word, I am desperately longing to grow in love with my Savior. The thought scares me because true love is abandonment.
Fill me Lord, as I abandon myself for a truer, deeper Way.
