Intimacy is hard, not just with people, but with God. I feel like it’s easier for me to recognize my intimacy with people rather than with God, but because I often forget that a relationship demands intimacy in order to grow.
Which is another thing, growth. Am I growing? I know I’m capable of growth, and ready for growth, I’m just lacking the intimacy part to get me there….
Okay, so, those first two paragraphs I wrote about a week or so ago. So much has changed since then, almost to the point where I don’t even remember feeling that way. I guess that just goes to show how much God has grown me in the area of intimacy. I can see the fruit from that too. No longer do I feel like I’m without the Holy Spirit or that I’m absent from the Lord, even though we’re never absent from Him. So much comes from just spending intentional time with God everyday, it changes how you think, how you act, how you relate to others; it affects everything. The more time I spent with God this last week, the more and more I grew in intimacy with Him. Which, when you think about, really seems like a no brainer, but I was just finding it so hard to set myself aside, set what I wanted and what my expectations were aside, and just hang out with God. It feels so good to do that, though! So relieving!
Intimacy with the Lord has helped me in my intimacy with my squadmates, too. Like today, for example: Today (Thursday) I took the day off from ministry because I had to do stuff for my logistics role on the squad. It was supposed to be just the morning, but ended up taking too long for me to make going to ministry worth it… if that makes sense. Anyways, I ended up going to lunch with two girls from my squad, and we sat in a sandwich place for 4 hours and just talked about life, and God, and having faith like a child, and intimacy, and community, and trials, and just a ton of great stuff. It was super edifying and extremely rejuvenating to get to spend that time lifting one another up, and to get to be lifted up myself by like-minded people. It’s relationships like those that God has given me, so that I might grow more and more with Him each day.
My thoughts about this topic, intimacy, are still kind of all over the place, but that’s just where I’m at right now. Still growing.
