My heart is breaking, but it’s so good that I have to share.
I’ve been volunteering with a hospice agency for the past six months or so, but it’s really just a good outlet to go and serve in a way that the Lord has called me to! I’m the “music therapist,” as everyone at the hospice calls me, but in actuality I’m not doing anything too out of the ordinary. Real music therapists have been trained in understanding the human psyche and music’s therapeutic powers. They understand how to ease the hurting. Although I’ve been trained as a musical performer, I don’t have special training in music therapy. I’m just a musician.
When I sit at a piano, I don’t have to think twice about what I’m doing because it’s second-nature to me. I’ve realized how often I take that for granted, as if I’m entitled to it or something. But no; this is a gift that the Lord has given me!
So to get back to my story of this morning:
I just got home from visiting a nursing home where the only thing I did was sit at the piano and play for a few ladies for about 45 minutes. The only effort it required was spending about 30 minutes on the road, sitting and talking a little bit with the patients, and letting the music flow. I don’t know if many of you have spent much time in a nursing home, but for about as long as I can remember, I’ve been visiting family members who have lived in one. Nursing homes are not really that fun. It breaks my heart to see their deteriorated bodies and lonely souls. They don’t have much to live for anymore, and their lives are one big routine.
The thing that broke my heart this morning was talking to a sweet, sweet little lady after I had finished playing. She was sitting humped over in her wheelchair, and when I turned around I asked her if she had enjoyed the music. With tears in her eyes she said, “That was just beautiful. It was just as beautiful as I imagined it would be.” I believe she said those words four or five times, and when I saw her tears, I couldn’t hold back my own. I realized in that moment how blessed she was today simply because I was willing to be unselfish. She had been dreaming about me coming. Wow.
How humbling! Sometimes I struggle with wondering why the Lord has given me this gift of music, because it’s really not very practical. I’m most likely never going to get rich off of it, and I’ve received quite a few peculiar looks when I tell people that I was a music major in college. (They then precede to ask, “So what can you actually do with that?”) However, it’s experiences like I had today that show me why the Lord has given this gift to me. IT’S TO BLESS OTHERS! How dare I question him!
As I was driving home, the Lord spoke something to me. Over the past few months as I have been praying about this whole support-raising thing, He’s been telling me that in order to receive, I must first give. Today, God said to me, “It’s not just about giving your money; it’s about giving your time and your gifts. Then I will be able to bless you.” Wow. Okay, God. I will give!
My challenge for those of you reading this is this: what else can YOU give? I believe whole-heartedly that we will all receive an overflow of abundance for this trip; but I also believe that we must first give to receive. So let’s give so that we may receive!
