“Seen you soon,” it is not a goodbye but yet it is still so hard to say. On Friday I had to say “see you soon” to a lot of my old kids I taught, their parents, my coworkers, and my bosses. I really thought it was going to be easy because I am hopefully coming back when I return home, but yet it was still so hard.
In reality I made some amazingly awesome friends. My coworkers have been people for me to lean on, my bosses have pushed me to excel in every way possible, and the kids have been engraved on my heart for a lifetime. Not also that but their support through this whole process since around October has been AWESOME, and I am forever grateful.
[Me, Ms. Denise (my partner in crime), and some of the kiddos]
I don’t know what it is about being a teacher, but I have really grown to love it. Watching them build social skills, give them praise when they clean their toys, showing love when they are feeling sad, and teaching them their please and thank yous’ & ABCs make all the hard days’ worth it. I have always said this and I will continue to, the happiness of a child brings so much light and joy to this world. It is a great feeling when you get to be a part of that.
(One of the kids felt so accomplished to find the Golden Egg)
They aren’t the only people I have to say “see you soon” too. Today/tomorrow I am having to do it again to the leaders and members of my church. These people who have helped me find joy, grace, happiness, and so much more by showing me the Father’s love. For showing me a little bit of what community looks like. It is so easy to call them if I need help with something. They are my support system and backbone and I would probably still be in a blur, where I was in 2013 just dwelling on my past.
(Me and one of my really good friends Angela at church for our Family Fun Day)
Then there is saying it to family and close friends. It seems like the more the days pass the more emotional it seems to get. Putting my life on pause, quitting my job, and just putting literally everything on hold was always part of the deal. I think the fact that it is really about to happen now is pretty crazy. In my head I’m just seeing a little girl kicking and screaming saying “NO, I DON’T WANT TO GO!!!”, (of course that is just the enemy, and please note I just want to give you a funny image, like maybe a Lizzie McQuire cartoon, but only myself instead). This is very selfish of me to say, but I think it’s just I don’t want life back at home to go on without me. My kids I work with will be almost four (and probably won’t even remember me), my best friends will probably become in serious relationships, or engaged, my sister is going to have my nephew, and it breaks my heart that I won’t get to be a part of that. I know you are probably thinking Janelle, quit complaining you are going to see the world! But please know, 11 months is a long time and I’m just trying to process! :D!
[Me, my mom, sister Tasha (who is expecting a boy), my niece Kayla Jo.]
But God has called me to more. He has called me to say yes. To say yes to bring His laughter and joy that my kids at my school taught me, to the kids over in Swaziland or in Cambodia. To say yes to be part of a new community of His people who show just as much joy, grace, happiness, and the Father’s love. To say yes to be part of one the best families ever that He brought together that is spread across the U.S. and even Canada. I’m so lucky to have such an amazing Father who wants me to say YES to show His love.
(U-Squad doing dishes after dinner at training camp in Atlanta, GA)
So Lord I thank You for challenging and stretching me thin, for letting me be human and to let me embrace the things around me. I’m sorry I’m being selfish and letting my emotions get the best of me. Because yes You a closing a door for a little while but You are opening up so many more. I pray that the “see you soon” becomes easier and easier. That I just glorify You and never take for granted the things You are wanting me to be part of. That yes some relationships might be paused but I embrace new relationships that You want me to sew into, Amen.
