I don’t like using the phrase, “I’m proud of you.” It leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
We had walked into the classroom without any expectations. We were visiting the first meeting of an after-school Christian club. The plan was to help lead some English worship songs to middle school and high school students. But as we entered the room, we were asked to also give a short talk on whatever was in our hearts to share.
I listened as my teammate went up to discuss identity and the desire to be what people wanted. A very relatable topic for the age group, or anyone really. I still continue securing my identity and I’m a decade older than the students.
As I watched her step into something without preparation, I felt proud of her. It was a privilege to see the growth she had made in this area. I doubt it if the girl I had first met five months ago would have volunteered with less hesitation.
Later that day, I wanted to tell her how proud I was of her. I hesitated to use the words because I don’t like what it does for a person.
I think of how often I hear someone say, “I just want them to be proud of me.” And usually it’s with a heart that believes to achieve that is by works. The only way for someone to be proud of you is to do things. Pride needs to be achieved.
I told her how proud I felt when she got up there to speak, but I added, “I’m at the point where I’m proud you just exist.”
I wanted to be clear that she didn’t have to do anything for me to be proud of her. I know her heart and her character. It isn’t in what she does, it’s in who she is. And who she is to me. I’m proud of her simply because she’s my friend. Her stepping out was only a reminder of what I felt for her.
