There are moments when I turn on myself. When I forget the things I know are true.
It’s a war going on in my thoughts and memories. And it’s me against me.
The voices in my head say the ugliest lies about myself. Voices I can’t ignore.
At times, I’m my worst enemy.
But the Bible says, Love your enemy.
The questions is how? How do I love myself?
I remind myself of God’s love for me. If He can love me unconditionally, then that’s enough. He sees me clearer than I see myself. He sees my flaws and doesn’t cringe or shy away. He sees my selfishness, my pride, my fear. But He loves me unconditionally. He sees my desire to be selfless, to be humble, to be brave. And that’s enough for Him. When I know there is someone who isn’t looking for me to be perfect, just to be present, it takes a pressure off of me. My worth is revealed in His love. If He can love me, I can love me.
But for some practical help to get there:
1. List your positive characteristics.
This can be hard if you always think negatively about yourself. Start with one positive characteristic. Add to the list each day. Be specific. Don’t use general adjectives to describe yourself. Think of actions and how they demonstrate specific attributes. Don’t just list, “I’m generous.” Write, “I often offer my last Oreo, which shows I’m generous.”
Reflect on your list daily and remember these are reasons you are worth it.
2. Speak positive affirmations over yourself.
This can seem cheesy and a little awkward, but it really helps. Write these affirmations down, then repeat them to yourself
daily, like a personal motto. Look into the eyes of the mirror and say, “I am worthy, I am loved, I am whole” or whatever mantra
you want to speak over yourself. It’ll sink in, you’ll start to believe it, it’s psychology.
3. Write down a list of feel good things to do.
Then do it. It’s those instant feel goods. Think of activities that make you feel good physically, emotionally, and spiritually. This
might be rock climbing, salsa dancing, watching a movie with popcorn and bunches a crunches (so good). It’s good to build
these things into your routine, but also when you feel the threat of feeling low, look at the list, close your eyes, and place your
finger on the page. Hopefully it’ll land on eating your favorite dessert (like a Tim Tam Slam at a local coffee shop).
All the women of our squad are serving together for the month, fifteen woman working alongside Kawan in the island of Penang, Malaysia. Kawan translates to “friend” in Malay. Their mission is to help provide care and improve the quality of life for the street community. They provide needed services such as free breakfast and lunch, a safe sleeping area, bathing, laundry facilities, and more.
We’ve also had the opportunity to speak at church services, attend Penang’s International House of Prayer (Penhop), promote English learning to 4-6th graders, do street outreach, and prayer walk through village slums just across the street from expensive high rises.
