Do you remember the cover of that Shel Silverstein book, where the kids are peering over the ledge? Where they walk past the sign that says “EDGE keep off”? Oh man, I love that picture. There is this thing in the kids thats like, “ok, whats next then?” They walk past the sign, and know that there must be more even though the path has ended. The dog is falling through the sidewalk, but the kids don’t care. The “world race” sidewalk has ended for all of us alumni. The sidewalk has ended…the sidewalk of what society has said life is supposed to look like, should look like, the path of the race, the path of what all the voices of this world tell us that 20-30 something year old life is supposed to look like. And, the Lord brings all of us to that point where He is like ok, come on, the paved path has ended are you going to follow me or not? And, In the wise words of Alanis Morissette: “The moment I jumped off of it was the moment I touched down”. So, the Lord has brought me out to Denver this summer and I’ve been in the wilderness. Its been so rough at times, but I asked for it. I told Him to bring me to a place of complete dependence and reliance upon Him alone…and its been that. Be careful what you ask for. Its been incredibly lonely at times, frustrating at times, but His presence greets me in the morning and reminds me He is with me here. Its been such an interesting season of life. There have been so many open doors, its been overwhelming. A season where I have to discern His voice and will for my life. Where I have to see what lies beyond all of the open doors and then choose to close the doors as He leads me. Since I got back from the Dominican Republic, I’ve been praying about what the heck to do with my life. I will be starting seminary in 2009. The Lord gave me incredible peace about starting in 2009, and when I even though about starting this fall, I felt incredible unrest. And without the funds, there was no way for me to go this fall without financial aid. So seminary was out for the fall. Then, there were the doors to stay in Denver or go to Colorado Springs. Neither of those felt right. My time with the silversmith has been great, but my apprenticeship is quickly coming to a close this summer, my brother whom I’ve been living with is getting married in a few weeks so my place to stay in Denver is quickly coming to its expiration date. I have literally applied to dozens and dozens of jobs, most of which i am qualifed and overqualified for since I set foot here in Denver. Nada. Not one little drop. So, the Lord does not want me to be employed. And the Springs has some phenomenal people and awesome things are happening there, but I just haven’t felt called there (yet, perhaps).
While I was in the Dominican Republic, a few weeks ago, somebody asked me what was next. “I have no idea”, I answered. I told him, I have no idea where I will be in a year, in 6 months, in a month. But, I told him, I would love to go to India. India has been on my heart for a while now and I have been hoping and praying that I could go this year or next. In the midst of praying through all of my questions regarding plans for the fall, Adventures in Missions contacted me and asked me if I would be interested in leading a 3 month trip to India this fall. I have prayed and fasted about this, and I feel so strongly the Lord leading me to do this before I start seminary. In all of the Gideon-like fleeces I have laid before Him, He has answered.
I am humbled. In all seriousness, there has been so much soberness in this decision and the Lord has told me to count my costs. I have had to grieve people’s approval and their will for my life. I immediately knew that there would be people coming against me, and the Lord just said “Choose today whom you will serve”. So that sidewalk that I am walking off of, is incredibly symbolic and significant for me. I’ve made my choice. If you feel the Lord stirring in you to join me, to walk with me, to be my Aarons in prayer, to support me financially, then come on! Send me an email, a comment, or click on the Support Me! link.
Love, Blessings, Favor, and Peace to all of my amazing supporters, friends, and spiritual family.
