It has been too long since I have updated this. But I feel that I owe it to all of my friends, supporters, and family. I’ve hesitated to write because I don’t know how to put this season into words. I fear having to be transparent and real on this blog because it isn’t easy. But it feels like its time. There is no method to my madness, my ravings and rantings, so just let me unload and process stream-of-consciousness style. I am here in Portland, OR right now. Maybe I should back up…and start with India. India was truly a season of the Lord breaking me. It was so painful, not at all what I anticipated, completely different from the race. Leading a trip is so different from being a participant. I will spare you the details…lets just say one of the loneliest seasons of my life, yet the Lord was near and tenderhearted towards me and gracious. He loves me. He broke me and showed me I need Him and can’t do a SINGLE thing with out Him.
I got home to NJ, was home resting and relaxing for 5 weeks, visited friends. Then I packed up the car and headed west. Man, I feel the Lord calling me into this season of Exodus. I don’t even fully know what that means. But its this whole leaving behind…leaving stuff, leaving scars and wounds, leaving junk, leaving old identities, old habits, old lies, old me. Exodus has been in my spirit for a good 8 months now…the Lord reminded me of it while I was home. I’m still figuring out what all that means. So I drove out to Colorado again. Hung out for a week and a half. Reconnected with people. Saw some beautiful world race faces. Packed my bags again. Funny thing, I was in the airport yesterday walking to my gate when I passed a gate for Philadelphia. It made me stop and think and smile. It made me think about how easily I could get on that flight and end up after a few short hours right back where I had begun. I love Philly. And for some reason at that moment it symbolized for me who I was 2 years ago. How easily I could go back, but at the same time how I could never go back to who I was.
I am reminded in this season of the simplicity of following Jesus, of how things boil down to simple simple truths…truths that even children get. God is good. I can trust God. God is love. He loves me. God is real. He hears me. God cares. He cares about this world. Our freak-out moments go back to these simple things…do we believe He is good? Do we believe He is love? And the truth exposes the ridiculousness of the lies. So we fight with that sword of the Spirit.
So I am in Portland, visiting Western Seminary. Then onto Bethel in Redding, CA and Fuller in Pasadena. Pray for confirmation, that the Lord would clarify where He is taking me that I’ll be yielded to Him in Jesus’ name. Its hard to go from the race, learning about and experiencing the power of the Holy Spirit. Seeing the Lord move in the world, beyond the walls of church, the walls of academia to go into the seminary classroom. The Lord told me to go and reminded me of it through two prophetic words I recieved 2 weeks in a row. So I reminded to trust and obey. Seminary was never something I planned for me, but thank God that its not about my plans. So its all coming down to that…Trust and Obey!!
By the way…you need to check this out: How to live simply and love extravagently
