Sounds kind of ridiculous. But finding Jesus in seminary isn’t easy. But sometimes He surprises you. The other day I was walking through campus realizing the brokenness here in seminary, realizing that there is as much brokenness in seminary as there is outside of seminary. Kind of like how there is as much brokenness in the church as outside of church. Yet, somehow I was surprised with how many not whole people are walking around here, dealing with spirits of fear, of anxiety, of rejection, of fill in the blank its here. The spiritual climate here has made me desperate. I crave the Lord. My soul and my body longs.
So the other day, we were in class…its called spirituality and mission. And we start to worship…WORSHIP in class at a seminary. Yes, it’s rare. It actually felt odd and unfamiliar to be worshipping with my classmates. And, what do you know? The Holy Spirit shows up and starts to inhabit our praise. Then, we move into a time of intercession for Haiti and all the while we are singing COME LORD JESUS COME TO HAITI!!! And, it was like HEY JESUS THERE YOU ARE!!! AHHHH JESUS IN SEMINARY!!!! Not Jesus in a book, in a picture, not talking about Jesus as some kind of far off historical figure…but His presence. It surprised me. HA!
I have wrestled so much wondering if I am supposed to be here. Hating it at times, being ok with it at times, wondering why I have to do this at times. Even the plane ride back to LA asking God if there was anyway He could release me from this and then I told Him I will stay until He releases me. Thinking about the debt I am going into and praying He will release me and that if He doesn’t that He will sustain me. And He speaks Jeremiah 29 to me “build homes and PLAN TO STAY. Plant gardens and eat the food they produce”. LIVE. So I’m finally putting up art in my apartment!!! Its hard to go from a season of being somewhere and packing up after a few weeks or a few months, to actually really unpacking. Maybe someday soon I’ll stop using the travel toiletry case I’ve been using for the past 2.5 years 🙂
