God kicked me!

Have you ever felt like you have one foot and out foot out?  so what happens when God kicks you and just says, “ok, enough”. 

 

I just got back from the DR two days ago.  And everytime I go there, God rocks me.  He changes my destiny.  You would think I would start to expect it.   It is incredible what He does there.  Two years ago, the very first time I went.  I don’t even know how it came about that I was going with this youth group on their summer missions trip.  I never wanted to go on a missions trip again, I never wanted to be a missionary, I didn’t want to work with high school kids.  I have always loved adventure and roughing it, but I was never a Jesus freak and didn’t want to be.  So the night before our flight is leaving, I break out in hives.  I have this awful allergic reaction, and I think to myself, perfect.  Now I have an excuse to get out of this.  So as I’m sitting and thinking about how to properly word all of this to the pastor/trip leader…there is a quiet whisper…what if this is satan?  what if he doesn’t want you to go?  what if he is afraid of what will happen there?  I’m going, I decide, hives and all. 

 

I just wanted to survive.  The trip was 10 days long, I had decided to go for 5 days so I could get back to work.  God killed me.  He killed my idea of life.  He kicked down that fence and hurled me towards Him.  The day I was leaving was Sunday, it was the Sabbath, and we were in service.  My bags were packed, sitting by the door.  I sat and was listening to the word being preached, and it was about Peter.  How Peter asked Jesus to call him out of the boat. , and how he walked on water.  Then how the missionary we were working with, how he asked Jesus to call him out of the boat, and how thousands of people’s lives came to know, love, and live in Jesus.  How Jesus Himself stepped out of His boat, and how the world has never been the same.  So I said, Jesus call me out of my boat to walk on water, and He did.  Man, He did. 

 

I got back to the states, applied to the race, went on the race, and am back.  Full circle.  So when I got back from the race, I met up with some of the youth group staff I had worked with, and the pastor said, “Hey why don’t you come with us?”  What the heck, why not I said. The door is open, I’m walking through.  Before I got on my flight, I asked the Lord, why are you taking me there?  what do you want to do?  So with these things in my spirit, I took off.  And found myself exactly where I was two years ago, with Iglesia de Canaan in Santo Domingo.  During my time there, became friends with one of the pastors, Pedro, an awesome man of God.  As we were riding back on the bus from a beach trip after a long, hard week.  He said that the Lord was calling me to be a pastor and go to seminary.  I freaked out to put it lightly.  But was on the verge of tears that I was fighting back, because something in me lept up and knew it was true, but I was kicking and screaming NOOO!  I seriously felt like Jonah, and just wanted to run.  Then, he said, just pray about it, let me know what God says in two days. 

The next morning I get up at 5:30am for morning prayer, the pastor is speaking on how one word can change your life, your destiny.  With that ringing in my heart, I just want to run.  Run away…the best I could do, was to find a quiet rooftop away from everyone.  So I’m just freaking out to the Lord.  and then worshipping and praying.  And I said this to Him, “Lord if this is seriously your will for me then confirm it by anointing me with oil. ”  Those words had never come out of my mouth before, I had never asked that of Him like that.  I was kind of shocked when they did and wondered where the heck that came from. So I sat, and was just still with the Lord.  and He said, “Psalms 45 and 48” .  Then I read this:

“You love justice and hate evil. 

Therefore, God, your God, has anointed you,

pouring out the oil of joy on you

more than on anyone else.”   

 

What the heck?!  So I read on, and it says, ” Listen to me, O royal daughter, take to heart what I say.  Forget your people and your family far away.  For your royal Husband delights in your beauty; honor Him, for He is your Lord.”  I broke. I literally broke.  Since that day, there have been daily confirmations.  No exagerration.  I can’t even begin to tell you all of them, but I know this…God knows me.  He knows that part of me that wants to run off of the altar.  So He reminds me daily, Jane, this is from me, I chose you.  I’m floored, humbled, silenced.  So here I am, because God kicked me off of the fence.