The past month really has been a haze. The fact that I am actually doing this has settled a little more, and the pressure is really beginning to mount as my first support deadline looms. Through all the chaos of fundraising, vaccinations, picking my gear, various forms of paperwork, and other tedious details, I have found myself pressed to not lose the heart of who I am and where God is in all of this.
It is easy to let yourself count down the days, to let yourself think that if you can just get to Launch Day, then you will finally step into what God has for you. This type of thinking has hindered the growth of many a man and blinded him to what God has placed around him in that moment. It is a challenge to break out of this mentality, to see the special in the mundane around you. Yet I have found that, upon closer inspection, God’s training for me looks suspiciously like my daily life, and with an even closer look, I can see brokenness.
For most people, when they think of what breaks their heart, they think of a starving child in Africa. They think of a girl, torn from her family because she was sex trafficked. These pictures easily jump to mind when I think of the Race, and I wonder how I will deal with such brokenness when it’s staring me in the face. It’s at these times, however, that I look up and see the people around me. The pain they are in is not as obvious, but it is very much there. I try to see them the way Jesus sees them, and most times it is very hard to bear.
I see Jose and his wife, Marilyn, who had to leave their kids behind in Honduras so they could work to support them. I see my friend, Tyler, who has never known what it is like to have a healthy relationship with his dad. I see Wally, the forklift driver, who is grieving the loss of his parents this Mother’s Day. And most of all, I see Sharon, an older lady who just lost everything in a house fire. No insurance.
There are times when I am nearly driven to tears, and these are people with the benefits of living in a first-world country. I shudder to think of what will happen when I meet some of the less fortunate people that I will encounter on the Race. It’s in these moments that I catch a glimpse of who God is and what his heart breaks for. It seems I am constantly finding a new thing that breaks mine.
So what breaks your heart? Look up. Look around. You may be surprised what you see.
You may make donations to my trip at this link.
https://www.adventures.org/give/donate.asp?giveto=worldrace&desc=Jamison
