I feel convicted to start this blog, once again I am afraid, with another apology. It has been far too long since I have updated you all to the goings on in the Race, and my own personal journey in it. You deserve to know. It was something I just kept putting off and before I knew it five months had gone by. The blame is mine. There is no excuse. I am sorry and please forgive me.
If you have been following my journey through my mom’s monthly columns in The Goshen News, keep it up! That is another great way to stay updated.
Now, since it has been so long since I have blogged, most of this blog is going to be recap and what I learned in each country. I will start where I left off in Zimbabwe.
Zimbabwe was hard, the hardest country of the whole race. With 12 hour work days, constant miscommunication with our host, no time to ourselves, getting interviewed by the government, getting taken to the police station, and a whole host of other things as well, I was tired and ready to be done. Not done with the Race, just done with Africa. I wanted to leave that continent and wouldn’t have cared if I never saw it again.
However, in the midst of all that I did find a silver lining. Our first day of ministry there we did house visitations. One of the houses we wound up visiting belonged to a more or less single mother who was barely scraping by and was suffering from major discouragement. Her name was Ratendo. That day she had been fasting and out of pure frustration said, “God, if you are real, then send me a sign. If you do not then I am going to stop following you.” Later that day, we showed up at her door and began ministering to her.
She was so encouraged, that she began going to church again, and by her own testimony her faith in God was restored. I later asking myself if she had made all the trouble worth it… She had, and I would do it again. Zimbabwe taught me that it’s not about the numbers, and it showed me the importance of each individual. God also used it to show me that sometimes what we see as the little things, are really what are most important to him. So now I try to remember to keep my eyes open for the “little things” that might not be so little. You never know who you are impacting.
Lesotho was a game changer. We were Unsung Heroes that month, which meant our job was to go around and find new contacts for AIM to send people to. This also meant that we would not be working with a host and also meant we would be making our own schedule. Oh my goodness. God is good and knew that was exactly what we needed. This allowed us to rest up from the exhausting month that was Zimbabwe, and also ensured that there would be no miscommunication. This really did redeem the whole of Africa for us, and let us leave with a good taste in our mouths. God also used the silence the month provided to tell me some things I needed to hear. He showed me how much rejection I actually had dealt with in high school. It was hard to receive but that comes into play in the next month.
The Philippines was the country that brought us into the last leg of our journey. Asia. And what a country it was to start on. It was and still is my favorite country of the entire Race. They were so sweet and loving. I made so many friends there. They welcomed us with a huge feast singing, “Welcome to the family…” They then proceeded to machine and hand wash our clothes…for the next three days, and they were happy to do it! Every time I would thank them they would respond with a, “We enjoy doing it!” I had never seen such cheerful hearts and I had never before been shown such honor, servitude, or acceptance. After a week or two of staying there, I realized why God had brought me face to face with the rejection I had once faced. He was healing me, and I couldn’t imagine a better way to do it. That month I learned what it means to have a servant’s heart and I caught a glimpse of how God sees me and what his thoughts are towards me. I want to go back, and I think I shall one day.
The next month was Cambodia, and I am not going to lie. It was a bit dry and was hard to tell one day from another. However, our hosts were terrific. They were American, but not only that, they were Racer alum. Our ministry that month was to help out around the hostel our hosts ran, doing odd jobs and helping to run the front desk and such. There were constantly current and alumni Racers coming through, which I loved. We even got to spend quite a bit of time with V squad, another squad we had launched with in September and thus, we knew most of them. It was like seeing old friends. We swapped stories, laughed, and just had a good time.
All this though, while it was great, really left me feeling like I wasn’t really experiencing the culture. We were mainly with Americans, so what could I do? Nonetheless, I accepted what God had put in front of me. Unlike other months, at the end there was no huge lesson I had learned. I left feeling that I had simply practiced good perseverance, and sometimes, that is all God asks of you.
The next month was Thailand, and what a rig-a-ma-roll that whole thing was. This was a very busy month. It started off with the Parent Vision Trip, which meant my parents got to fly over the big blue pond and see me. This, of course, was a treat and allowed all of us to see each other in an environment we had never seen the other in. It also allowed us to see the growth that had taken place in each other’s absence. After this we moved on to our second Manistry Month. All the guys went off to one place, and all the girls to another. Most of the girls helped out at a local coffee shop that had a ministry in the sex industry, while us guys went off to a nearby orphanage and helped make jump ropes for them to sell and bricks so they could build a security fence. It was here that I really came face to face with the issues that orphans face. From abuse of all kinds to sheer abandonment and being used to most people leaving. Their trust was so easily broken. It was a hard reality to face. God also did lots of internal work and helped me to increase my discipline exponentially.
Month ten, wouldn’t you know it, we were sent back to Cambodia. In month eight we were supposed to go to Malaysia but, due to an unfortunate incident in the Philippines where we had another, unplanned, “all squad month,” my team alone was asked to go to Cambodia instead in the name of the squad not being all together. Month ten, however, was much different than month eight. While we did have lots of downtime, I felt like we experienced the culture a lot more. Our hosts were Cambodian, we ate more ethnicly, and we were able to visit a village and see that aspect of the country, rather than the city like we always had. Outside of that, this month was another great month for perseverance. We had to be creative with how we spent our time. This still more allowed me to grow my discipline.
And now I find myself at month eleven, Vietnam. How did I get here? I am really not sure. It seemed to go by so slowly in the moment, but looking back it really went very fast. So I have about two weeks before I set foot on American soil, and I am tired. This month didn’t start out so hot. I came into it sick and stayed that way for virtually a whole week. It really sapped my strength. We also have an odd work schedule that sometimes is hard to adhere to. I often find myself struggling to stay present, and daydreaming about my Mom’s cooking. I miss it. Don’t get me wrong, our ministry is great. We are in a little fishing village at a church, teaching children and adults English. The kids love us, and we love them. Everyone loves us well. We have been shown great kindness, nevertheless, I still struggle.
Part of me doesn’t want to go home though. Part of me is so used to life on the Race that the thought of “normal life” makes me nervous. I also do not want to leave these people that I have come to call family. I refuse to ever go back to a life mired in monotony and meaninglessness, and that is where God has been stepping in. Though I am nervous, I am not afraid. He has given me a purpose to go home to, and I am excited to step into that purpose for which He has trained me for on the Race. I have two weeks left. Two weeks until the rest of my life. Please pray that I use them well.
