There once was a girl with red shoes.
Many years ago, I called her to a missions trip in the poorest part of Ecuador. Amidst her plans falling apart and things not going how she expected it, I was able to show her MY heart. I was able to take her away from the chaos, have her look out among the village and finally see the children that she was working with the way I do. I said to this girl, “Do you see them? Do you see how much I love them; how much I long for them to know Me?” And she heard Me.
And she cried. I caught her tears, and I turned them into a beautiful passion for My lost children in the world. I took her across the world to many different countries so that I could show her all that I was doing and all that I was calling her to be. Through these trips, I was growing her heart in huge ways, but also her willingness to GO.
I used preachers, teachers, speakers, counselors, missionaries, books, boyfriends, movies, friends, family, ANYTHING I could use to show her more of Myself and more of My heart because this girl in the red shoes; well, I have big plans for her in the world.
There were many times I had to sit with her in her room and hold her as she wept for the brokenness of the world. “I’m just one person” she would say. And most of the time I would respond with
“And I choose you to go.”
This passion that I have been growing inside of her lead her to follow My call to Portland, Oregon to pursue a degree in Bible & Theology and Intercultural Studies. I knew this journey would not be easy and she would be walking through fire and hardship for years, but I had a greater plan for My girl in the red shoes. I was going to walk through the fire with her, carrying her through her darkest hours and struggle in order for her to be better equipped for what I was about to take her on. There were a lot of heartbreaking moments when she was confused and angry at what I was doing, but I never let her go, I held onto her tight even when she wanted to run away, and we came out the other side. She was now in better relationship with Me, better equipped and ready for the biggest journey I have yet to take her on:
The World Race.
This all leads us to today. It’s the first day of her World Race Training Camp. She’s got her red shoes on and her stomach is full of butterflies. The night before, she just sat in My presence in anticipation, anxiety, fear, and excitement. We both were so excited about what was about to take place. Little did she know that these two weeks in Gainesville, Georgia would be so key in preparation for this journey I was about to take her on.
I lead her through so many parts of Me she didn’t know about. I taught her about My character, My love, My compassion, My presence, My forgiveness, My Spirit, My Bride, My Hope, and My WONDERFUL plans for her. On the first night, she wrote Me this letter:
Abba Father, I hear you. I hear you for the first time in a long time. I see you open my eyes to things I haven’t seen, I am seeing you amidst my darkness, I am seeing myself the way that You do… I see you look at me with adoring and loving eyes and shake Your head in laughter at how much You love me. God, dance with me. Let us push the world away and let it just be me and You and nothing and no one else. Continue to speak to me. I know you have me here- this is where I am meant to be. I can feel it.
So we continued. Just like she asked, and these were some of the things I walked her through:
Storytelling
I have a specific calling for My girl in the red shoes and that is telling My story– through the people she meets, through her squad members, team members, ministry hosts, and oh so much more that she can’t even fathom right now. I gave her a passion for photography when she was 12 years old. She has pursued it well, but also had let her camera and her talent sit on a shelf and collect dust. I reignited her flame for that passion and she is going to use it wholeheartedly on this race. She will take photos, write blogs, make videos, and reach people through her creative gifting I gave her for the sake of My kingdom. She doesn’t know it yet, but I am working in the hearts of her leaders to raise her up as a Storytelling leader in her team- just wait till you see what this girl has in store.
Church
I reminded My girl of what it means to be a part of the Church, My Bride. It is full of unity and diversity, everyone serving a purpose, each with gift that the rest of the body needs. This became highly visible for her when team building exercises or field scenarios took place and she was very aware of what she lacked, and very aware of how dominating she can be in her leadership. I gave her the gift of leadership from a young age, but she was able to see how to best use that gift and let everyone’s voice be heard, leading with humility the way I did. I brought her squad members around her in a time of shame in recognition of her selfishness in leadership and I let them use their encouraging words to give her My perspective of the Church, the Body of Christ. She came away knowing the value of each member of the Body, that they need to be spurring one another on, celebrating each other’s gifts, and staying in community because in isolation is where the enemy does his worst. And she laughed upon hearing that her squad members appreciated and looked forward to her crazy dance moves and outgoing personality. Oh how beautiful it was to hear that laugh.
Feedback
I have found that in past years, My girl has been afraid of feedback. She has struggled with perfectionism her entire life and I have walked her through some pretty rough revelations. A part of being a World Racer is participating in feedback. I knew this wasn’t going to be easy for her, but it was going to shape her into a better woman of God that I want her to be. Feedback will happen every day of the Race, a daily chance for her to lean into Me for strength. It is about holding up a mirror to your brother and sister in Christ and saying “This is what I see inside you.” It’s about showing others their blind spots and seeking out your own. The girl in the red shoes cringed when she heard about feedback, but I reassured her that “Through this, I am calling you higher.”
Freedom
Before Training Camp, I told many leaders that this squad would be called “The Freedom Squad.” I have many plans for what that means for My girl in the red shoes and her squad, but they have no idea what I have in store. She sat in excitement, dreaming of what the word FREEDOM will mean for her during this next year.
Living Holistically
In the last year of her life, the girl in the red shoes let herself fall into a bad place emotionally, spiritually, and physically. I met her at her lowest, lifted her chin up to look her in the eye and say “I care about EVERY part of you.” She simply said “Okay.” I nudged her to take necessary steps in taking care of herself: emotionally by going to counseling, physically by exercising regularly and eating healthy, and spiritually by stepping back into community with Me and with her family and friends around her. She learned how important it is to live holistically. I call every one of my children to action in this sense. I reminded the girl in the red shoes that I care for what she does with her body and physical life because I created her beautifully and wonderfully and in My image. I challenged her in getting up early when she is not a morning person and completing the hike requirements of the World Race. She ran with absolute joy with that pack on her back as the sun was rising and rejoiced in finishing 7 minutes early.
Holy Spirit
This was a part of me that I needed the girl in the red shoes to see more of. I taught her through the speakers that I desire partnership, companionship, and intimacy with My Spirit. I used some prayer warriors to speak life into her as she heard the words “You are worth of the power of the Holy Spirit.” During these days at Training Camp, I invited her into a partnership with Me that she has never experienced before. She saw My Spirit moving and during worship shouted “What are you doing Lord?! I want to join you!” Boy, do I have big things in store for My girl. I did not create her for the ordinary! Watch out for what I will do through her and in her with My Spirit. I now feel I live inside her with pride, with companionship, and with habitation rights, not visitation rights. She calls Me her best friend and constantly prays that she never wants to live a day without Me. She trusts Me to walk in My power. And she did. On one of the last nights, I used her to heal an injury of a squad member. I don’t think I’ve ever heard her squeal with such joy. What joy it brought me to see her walk in power.
Reflection
This topic was a huge moment of realization for the girl in the red shoes. She will tell you that she went to Hell and back during the last year but one thing that told her to hold on to what I was doing was reflection. I helped her through her darkest hours by looking back at her milestones and seeing how I was faithful in the past. She moved forward in her hardship in confidence because she knew if I was there then, then I am with her and have a plan now. She is going to need to remember this while on the Race for it won’t be easy and she won’t always feel My presence. I loved hearing her prayers: “You are faithful. How do I know that? Because You have been faithful before.”
What It Means To Be A Woman Of God
I laughed with my girl as she heard My truth about her gender through the biblical references seen in the movie Wonder Woman. I knew she would like that. I could see the empowerment grow behind her eyes.
Leadership
I taught her about humility, about empowering others, and serving like I did in My years of ministry on Earth. I pushed her outside her comfort zone, in her fear of failure. I told her if she is not failing, she is not taking risks. I told her to strive for excellence, not perfection and she said “I’m going to need that reminder a lot.” And I said “I know.”
Shame
This is a hard subject to walk through with any of my children, so on the day the girl in the red shoes would hear My truth about her shame, I gave her extra strength to get through it. She has held onto a lot of weight to her sin and it has kept her from living the fullness of the life I desire for her. She felt My love and forgiveness and silently whispered “I need us to get okay with me.” So, like taking 50 pound sandbags off of her back, one by one, she laid them at my feet and I helped her put them on the cross in tears.
Identity
This girl in the red shoes sometimes forgets WHOSE she is. She will take on the identity of student, dancer, sister, artist, entertainer, and sometimes forget that when all that is stripped away, WHOSE is she? Even in the beginning of camp, her squad started to love the show she was putting on, not who she actually was. Her value doesn’t come from that. I challenged her to take off her masks and let her squad see the real her because I have FREEDOM in this. I want her to wake up in the morning and know that I love her and she doesn’t have to do anything to receive that. It was hard, there were tears, she fought it for a bit, but oh how beautiful it was for her to smile at herself in the mirror that day and say “You are beautiful!” I love hearing those words.
Forgiveness
My girl, my beautiful daughter, thought there wasn’t anyone in her life that she needed to forgive. We dug a little deeper and I revealed to her a few she had been forgetting to deal with- forgiving people that had hurt her mom, her truest and closest best friend. Forgiveness and reconciliation is at the heart of the gospel and I would not let bitterness spread in her soul anymore. I watched her come to me with her mom in her hands and release all that pain they both walked through together. I watched her finally trust Me to take care of her mom, my precious daughter. How beautiful they are to me. I desire for them to walk in fullness.
Evangelism
I gave the girl in the red shoes enough confidence and outgoing personality to be able to be an evangelist in My name. Her team learned about it and then they were sent out onto the battlefield. I lead her to a small shop in town where she met a wonderful woman who had been through the very similar struggles that she had in the last year. Both these beautiful daughters of mine had similar passions, similar stories, and similar hearts and through sharing their stories, were able to be encouraged that they were not alone. The girl in the red shoes walked away from that conversation with a huge sigh of relief in feeling that all of her pain wasn’t for nothing, that I was making her into a new creation and was going to give purpose behind her struggle.
In these two weeks at her World Race Training Camp, the girl in the red shoes was challenged. I pushed her physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I gave her a deep desire to stay connected to the Body of Christ, to the Word of God, and to Me. I watched her dance in worship and become undignified, not caring what anyone around her thought. I moved in her, worked with her, spoke to her, and danced with her. She laughed so hard she couldn’t breathe, she cried till there were puddles on the floor, she sang so loud she lost her voice, and she grew so much she didn’t know how to put it all in a blog, so she asked Me to write it for her.
23 years ago, when my daughter came into the world, I gave her the middle name Joy, for I knew she would embody it in her lifetime. In the last years, in her darkness, she lost sight of it, but she has been slowly leaning more and more into My presence, which is the true source of joy, and as she walked into Training Camp, I knew she would find more of it.
One morning she saw it. Engraved on a key, on a necklace, for sale on the merchandise table, was the word JOY.
She couldn’t afford the necklace so she sat and watched other World Racers shop. I moved in the generous heart of one of her squad members and in utter JOY, she bought the necklace and put it around her neck with pride.
To this day, she hasn’t taken it off. I will overflow her cup with joy ten fold on this trip and she will bring joy to the darkest places on Earth.
I have given her red shoes on her feet and joy around her neck.
“And how can anyone preach unless they are sent? As it is written: “How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!” (Romans 10:15). My girl, Miss Jamilyn Joy, will be those feet who bring the good news and that person that embodies JOY for those who sit in darkness. I send her as a vessel, and she has said YES.
I beam with pride as I watch those red shoes walk in faith, hope, and JOY. My dear people, please stay tuned for the stories she will bring while wearing those red shoes and the people she will bless with that joy she carries.
All my love,
Abba
