One of the coolest things about my relationship with God is that He speaks to me through butterflies. There was an event that happened when I was 17 where God calmed my spirit, spoke to me, and showed me beauty in a hard situation with a single blue butterfly. The rest of that summer I saw one every single day fly by me and I’m telling you I could feel God’s presence so evidently every time one came close. As years have gone by, I see them and immediately think of the Lord. At times, He even floats one by someone that needs His love and that is His way of telling me to be that person to show them that love.
I see God in butterflies. He also speaks to me through them; showing me where He wants me to go.
This brings me to a cute little boy. His name is Carl.
If you walk up to our team and mention this little boys name, you probably get different reactions. Most of the time it’s frustration. Carl has tendencies to disobey almost everything you say. We have stories of Carl’s bites, scratches, tantrums, slaps, tears, screams, and disobedience. Everyone knows who Carl is, and not because of his kindness- it’s one of the things that the staff is helping him work on. Just today on the way home from school I probably told Carl to sit down at least 50 times. I think he thinks my concern for his safety is more of a game. Oh if only I spoke Creole.
During the times where I have been at my wits end with Carl, I take a moment to pause and take a deep breath and ask the Lord for guidance. “What do I do, Lord?”
Pray for him.
You know those moments when you are trying to hear from God and you hear something but you wonder if it was just your brain? Yeah that was my reaction with this one. “Pray for him. Well, duh that’s so cliche and generic. That’s probably me.”
A few days later our squad leaders decided to divide a list of each child, teacher, mom, and staff member at Grace So Amazing Ministries amongst our team so that every person involved was being prayed for. My list said Mita (one of the cooks at the school I work at), Yolanda (one of the moms that finds refuge with her child here at GSA), and Carl. And I heard it again.
Pray for him.
Ohhhhhhhkayyyyy God. Haha funny! I hear ya! I’m supposed to pray for this kid. Alright. So every chance I could remember, I took a second to pray for him, even if it was when he was pouncing on me on the bus ride home.
“Pray for him more Jamilyn! For the sake of us all!” my team jokes. I pray for his health, his development, his relationships, his growth. I pray that one day he would know the depth of the love from his Heavenly Father who loves him so much. I pray that he would grow in his kindness and maturity, that he would feel the love coming from Grace So Amazing staff members who have poured all they can into his little life.
And you know when you pray and you want to see immediate results right away? Yeah that’s a distant dream over here. “Gosh, this kid is still driving me nuts, God! Where is the good?”
Look again.
And I did. When I wasn’t really seeing Carl, all I saw was the bad, but the Lord opened up my eyes to all the good He created in this child. I saw his friendliness, his enthusiasm, his affection, and his desire to lead other kids. He has endless energy and is always ready for a game. He loves the responsibility of carrying my water bottle or the teacher supplies for the day. He is a joyful child, he learns his lesson when he is disciplined, and I’ve spent some really good days laughing with this kid. I love spinning him around and hearing his laugh and seeing all the good that God created in him. I loved telling him he looked handsome on the way to church and seeing him perk up.
One afternoon I picked up a piece of paper left on our kitchen table that had a list of all the children at the Grace So Amazing orphanage and their stories. My heart broke more with each story of these children that I have grown to love. I eventually got to Carl’s name: “Carl has grown at Grace House from an abused, malnourished baby into an affectionate, intelligent, and playful boy. He shines in leadership and helpfulness. Carl draws all people to himself with his warm greetings, interest and energy.”
There is always more to see in His children. God always wants to teach us more about His heart, even through disobedient children in Haiti. Sometimes we just see a face or a statistic or another kid who just can’t seem to obey but God wants you to see His son or daughter. And that is my prayer for Carl (nicknamed Carl’s Jr. by yours truly). That he would grow up to know that he is a son of the King of Kings, that he would feel the overwhelming love of His Creator who created him so uniquely, and that when he looks at his life, he would see how God protected him, fought for him, and will use his story for so much good.
I got to have lunch with Carl last Friday. He sat right next to me while eating his bowl of rice and beans and I prayed all the things I could before being distracted by another child. Fridays at the school are a lot more laid back. Everyone gets a half day, there are dance parties and musical chairs tournaments in the classrooms, and everyone gets stickers. Every child gets a sticker on their homework and on their forehead or hand. Carl had a few stickers on his hands and forehead but I didn’t pay that much attention to them.
Look again.
And there it was, a big ‘ole sticker of a butterfly right on his forehead. And me and Abba have a moment. I sit in the joy and laughter of seeing my Heavenly Father in his precious children; grateful for what He can teach me through a small child in the middle of Haiti.
To my readers:
Pray.
Look again.
See His glory.
All my love,
JJ
