Since being on the field the Holy Spirit has revealed to me that I have held a lot of bitterness in my heart. The root cause of that bitterness is unforgiveness. Last month in Costa Rica, while I was cutting fabric at Transforma, God began to open my spiritual eyes to just how much bitterness I have been carrying in my heart. I have been carrying so much anger and bitterness for most of my life that I didn’t know I had it in my heart. While at Transforma, God gave me several difficult questions that I have been working through. He also told me to share them with my squad coaches and squad mentor. So I did, mainly because I knew that I wouldn’t be seeing them every day and it would be easier. Roughly 3 days later one of our squad leaders was staying with us and the feedback she gave me went hand in hand with some of the questions God gave me. So I shared the revelation with her. She in turned challenged me to open up and share my struggles with my team, which I eventually did. Little did I know just how deep the bitterness went, until debrief, when God gave me yet another revelation, that I’m hesitant to start. God knew my stubbornness would ultimately get in my way so He had my coaches bring a book for me to read. The book is called Total Forgiveness. Before even beginning this book God placed the story of Joseph on my heart. At the time, I didn’t fully understand why, but as I’ve been reading through this book and through the life of Joseph, I’m noticing that Joseph could have, if he had allowed, had bitterness toward his brothers for selling him into slavery. What I have learned so far, is that I have sold myself into slavery and I have allowed bitterness to make a home in my heart. I’m currently doing the work to totally forgive those who have wronged me and I still have a long way to go before finishing this book. I’m grateful for the revelations that God gave me at Transforma, for they opened my eyes to all the clutter that I have allowed to block my path to being fully aligned with God.
I still have a long way to go to remove all the bitterness from my heart and God is showing me new revelations about myself, daily. Please partner with me in prayer for ultimate healing and restoration of my heart and mind. Also, I’m still fundraising and have $2,315 left before being fully funded. I’ve been praying a BIG bold prayer that I be fully funded before we leave for Morocco, if you would like to be apart of the answer to my prayer please click on the orange donate button at the top of your screen. God bless each of you for praying and helping me get to where I currently am. Love you!
