I’m currently in the final leg of this crazy, miraculous, awestruck journey that God called me to back in June 2018. In the year leading up to this journey, I had many people, friends and family, try to talk me out of going. They didn’t understand my reason for going. They didn’t understand why I would quit my job that paid well and travel the world for God. They didn’t understand my relationship with the Father, and why I was willing to give up everything and follow the path He laid out.
Over the last 10 months I’ve seen and felt a shift in my spirit. I’m no longer that timid woman of God I once was. I accept who I am and I know what I’m being called to do. My life is not my own. I knew back in June 2018 that whatever God was calling me to was going to change my life. I never would have expected it to change as much as it has, but I’m glad it did.
During my fundraising, I started out slow despite all my efforts I put in. I wrote 100s of letters, did bake sales, adopt a box, t shirts, chocolates, yard work, partnered with threads of hope, and even spoke at a few churches. There were many more things that I tried during my year leading up to launch. I came on the field still needing thousands of dollars and I had absolutely no idea how I was going to reach my final goal. I surrendered fundraising in Nicaragua.
Back in month one, Nicaragua, we partnered with Reap. In that first month, I learned what it meant to rely on people and got introduced to living in community. I learnt what surrendering means. I also learnt that I am a prideful person and that I push myself beyond my means. I pushed myself to heal faster because I didn’t want to be left behind when my team went out to ministry. Well, that didn’t work and I actually was on crutches longer than I should have been because of my stubbornness.
In Costa Rica, I learnt that I was relying more on one person and not my whole team. Panama taught me that gardening and pulling weeds has a deeper meaning and is comparable to my walk with the Lord. Morocco taught me endurance. To choose in with my team when things get rough and to persevere despite the odds stacked against me. Ethiopia gave me the first glimpse of what my role would be on my new team. During that month God revealed that I’m going to be teaching and sharing my knowledge on spiritual warfare with those around me. India showed me that I was starting to coast by and not press into my team. That changed before we arrived in Nepal. Nepal revealed that my stubbornness and pride is still lurking around when my old knee injury reappeared during our trekking trip. Myanmar, our first real ATL month, God showed me that I don’t have to interact with people on a daily basis to make a difference. By doing what He has called me to do, He opened more doors for conversations than I had the prior nine months. Thailand, I’ve learned that rest is needed and that I’m still struggling with finding what rest truly means for me. Some weeks I think I’ve figured it out, others I’m like a fish out of water. Gasping for air and a safe place to relax and recenter.
There are so many more lessons that I have learned over the last 10 months. The friendships that I’ve made, and the lives impacted that I’ll never be able to grasp.
I was called out here for a specific reason, I do not, yet, know if I have found that reason. The only thing that matters is that I endure the road ahead and continue to press in and produce new wine. Instead of coasting by these last seven weeks.
