We jumped out of the van and began to walk into the church in Bulgaria, while my team teasingly told our ministry contact about my Pentecostal background, saying that I regularly wave ribbons during church service. Of course, to us this is a joke because, although some women in my church as a child waved ribbons, I never actually did, minus during special performances when I was told to.
In fact, this has been an on-going joke because the truth is that my peers and I are too self-conscious to ever do something like that, and the thought of it seems silly and embarrassing. Well. . .
Our ministry contact did not take it as a joke, pulled golden flags from the back of the van, and handed them directly to me, thrilled that I could take part in the service in such a way. I took them from him a little bit in disbelief, feigned confidence, and wondered if I would actually be called upon to perform during service. I was.
With color rushing to my cheeks, I bashfully stepped up to the stage to stand in front of everyone, while my friends in the back row laughed and video-taped. I began to wave the flags with as much bravura as I could muster, though in earnest, I did feel silly and slightly embarrassed. Then, I remembered a worship leader’s words one day at a conference in San Francisco, “We should worship as if Jesus literally just walked in the room.”
It was a sobering thought. Even more sobering was the realization that I was making a mockery of a form of worship that our contact takes very much to heart, and if you were to see him do it, you would be humbled at such an unabashed love for our Savior.
Because the truth is, that Savior of ours suffered the ultimate humiliation. I imagine it’s a lot more embarrassing to hang on a cross, virtually naked, while people openly mock you.
And so, I shut out the rest of the room, looked down at the flowing gold fabric that was admittedly beautiful, and agreed that my Savior deserved such a display. I imagined Him entering the room, and was thrilled to be honored with the task those flags presented. It was a humbling experience, which is good considering my regular battle with pride.
In fact, as of late, I’ve begun to drown in my own pride, and the problem with pride is that it’s proud. It's hard to admit. It rejoices in the taking over. It takes comfort in knowing how great it is. It secretly dances around your soul filling your ears with words of how successful, how smart, how wonderful you are.
It’s no wonder that I would be entering “Romans” at this point in my own Bible reading, or that I began reading Knowing God by J.I. Packer today. God knows what we need, eh? More than that, I look back on that day in Bulgaria and remember that God actual calls us to a humbleness far greater than what I underwent there. That day was simply a glimpse, but one that will serve as a faithful reminder in the days to come.
Current financial status: $14,800.00 FULLY FUNDED!!! Praise God!
If there is anyone still out there that would like to bless a World Racer with financial support, two of my squadmates did not reach our funding goal. Adventures In Missions graciously extended the deadline far beyond March 1st, and now they have until April 16th to raise the remainder of their funding or be sent home. Amanda Brucki still needs about $1400 and Michelle Lasko needs $900. I am here because I have a loving community that lifted me up with their support, and unfortunately, Amanda and Michelle’s communities are simply unable to do the same at this time.
Pray about it. It may be God’s will that they go home, or it might be an opportunity for you to bless a stranger. I’ll leave that up to you. Jesus bless you, friends!
