What does a broken heart truly look like? An answer I could not give a month ago. My thoughts are in process still so forgive me for not using eloquent words when I speak in this blog. In my thoughts I have not been able to express them to you all because Candelaria and the people here are not just a story to me… they have become my life!
For the first time ever my heart has been broken for something that didn’t directly effect the outcomes of my own personal life. In the few times I have cried in the past 5 they have all been because of situations that have happened to me, but here God is doing something crazy in my heart. I experienced emotions so much deeper then I have ever known. What I feel isn’t just simply human compassion, because it is easy to feel sorrow for people who have absolutely nothing and basically live in tents; it is a genuine feeling of love and devotion. Feeling of inexpressible joy and resilience.
Here I saw a whole community come together 2 nights in a row, staying up all night, to be with the family of a man who died from the village. Here I saw the most beautiful sunsets I have ever seen. Here I saw lives changed through the vision of 1 couple (Tommy and Linda). Here I saw kids cry out and expose their hearts to us mere strangers. Here I saw hundreds of kids coming everyday just to play and be loved on. Here I saw people yelling my name down the street blocks upon blocks away from where we were living just to say hello. Here I saw my heart break.
One morning about a week before leaving Candelaria the thought ran through my head of leaving this place. My heart was saddened, not only because of the attachment I have with them, but because I don’t want to miss out on spending their lives with them this next 9 months while I am gone. I want so badly to display Christ in me to them and love them as Jesus loves them.
Photo By Sydnee Mela Every time I think about this place, I will remember how much God did in my heart. I will remember the passion I have for them and deep sincere love. I wish I could explain in words how I feel, but no amount of words could even tap the surface of how I feel. Today now having left Candelaria I have mourned and I have rejoiced. For He is the God of that city and He has it in the palm of his hands. He is in the process of breaking down the callouses upon my heart and refining it in order to love like He loves.
Photo By Sydnee Mela
For it is better to say hello and love with your whole heart
and hurt because of the good-bye
then to never say hello in the first place
Attached is a Video that Weston put together so you can all see a mere glimpse of my life here in Candelaria
