This year I have realized that I missed a very basic mathematical fact somewhere in my education. I don’t understand the meaning of three. Three. It sounds so simple, but I refer to it in the context of the Trinity and immediately it’s not so simple anymore.
A few months ago, I had my phone interview for the World Race and I was asked a question that I am sure my fellow racers were asked as well. Basically, they asked me what my thoughts and feelings were regarding the Holy Spirit and believing in the power of the Spirit to work through us. My answer was honest: I believe in the Trinity, but I feel like I tend to forget about the Holy Spirit and don’t really understand who he is. I have been working on this area of my spiritual life and have been praying for God to reveal his Spirit to me.
Last week while looking through my church’s resource center after service, I stumbled upon a book called Forgotten God that caught my eye. It is written by Francis Chan and the subtitle of the book reads: Reversing Our Tragic Neglect of the Holy Spirit. Given the subject matter of this book and the recent awareness of my own neglect of the Spirit, I decided to buy it. I am glad that I did.
I know that the World Race is going to cause me to experience the Holy Spirit in a way that I never have before and I highly recommend this book to fellow Racers and anyone else who may feel the way I have been feeling about not truly being in relationship with the Spirit. Chan really does make some great points about why we would want to ask for the Spirit’s presence in our lives…and what will probably happen when we do. Here is one excerpt that may very well apply to all of us on the WR:
“The truth is that the Spirit of God is guaranteed to ask you to go somewhere or do something that you wouldn’t normally want or choose to do. The Spirit will lead you to the way of the cross, as He led Jesus to the cross, and that is definitely not a safe or pretty or comfortable place to be. The Holy Spirit of God will mold you into the person you were made to be. This often incredibly painful process strips you of selfishness, pride, and fear.”
I think that in my heart I always knew this. I knew the painful process that would be involved in truly and completely surrendering myself to God. I was afraid. So instead of welcoming God fully into my heart, I took him in one bit at a time. Piece by piece. The Trinity-three persons in one being-never materialized in my spiritual life because I refused to let myself know God in this way. Instead, I invented my own meaning of three, which for 26 years never made it past two-at best-trying to understand God as the Father and Son. At my lowest point, I even came frighteningly close to that number dropping to zero when I almost turned my back on God completely. But the Bible tells us that God is three in one. There is no other way to look at it. He is God the Father. He is Jesus Christ, the Son. He is the Holy Spirit, sent to be our Counselor.
This is the God that I want to know. I do not want God piece by piece anymore; I want all of Him. God has shown me that I have a lot to learn in regards to welcoming the Spirit into my heart and coming into relationship with Him. I desire this. Through books, prayer, and conversation God is teaching me about His Spirit and how I have neglected him in my life. I want to know three the way God wants me to. Three. It’s simple math…and profound Truth.
