How many days have you coasted through life? How many days have you wondered if you have made an impact on someone? Life goes by faster than we could ever imagine. I sit here, my final day of Costa Rica, and I wonder where the time went. I wonder if I did enough? Did I talk enough? Did I do enough? Did I love enough?
This month went by so fast and I have changed more than I could ever say. The people at ZOE have poured into me so much and have shown me how to love a complete stranger so fiercely, that that stranger becomes family. It was not by any huge act that made me feel that, it was the little things.
A smile
A smile from a little boy while playing with him during service showed me how easy it is for a child to love. He didn’t know me, yet he still played. Every Sunday we would play while his mom would listen to the Word during service. Every Sunday I couldn’t wait to see the smile on his face, one that reminded me why I am here. I am here to love people in any way that I can.
A hug
Some of the best hugs come from the littlest of people. I haven’t found a better feeling in the world of a child running up and wrapping their arms around me. This child has only known me for a month. We played basketball together, we ran together, we
laughed together. The hug told me how much it meant to him, and though it may have been just a hug to him, it was so much more to me.
A t-shirt
A gift of a t-shirt was given to me by one of the girls I have become friends with at church. Hilary is a fun, loving, beautiful girl who brings so much light whenever she is around. I loved the time we got to play, talk and be with each other. She gave me more than a shirt, when she pulled out a hand painted t-shirt. I could see the dedication and hard work she put into the t-shirt and it was like that of what I had put into Costa Rica. She had the biggest smile on her face when she gave it to me. These children have changed my life, I can only hope to love the way that they do.
An open door
We have had so many doors opened to us this past month. It never ceases to amaze me how open people are to let strangers come into their home, open conversation with them and allow God space to move. I couldn’t imagine letting a stranger in my home in the states, let alone actually being open to deep conversations with them. We have prayed deeply for the people of these homes, prayed for healing, prayed for acceptance, prayed for light. Prayers that may have gone un-prayed if they left their doors closed.
A few words
“Do not be afraid” “You are going to change, it is going to hurt, but you are going to be ok” these words were spoken to me in the first few days of being here. At the time, I was angry to hear them. I don’t want to change, I don’t need to. But I do. And I have. Change has always been an issue for me, letting go has always been hard. I don’t know what the future is going to hold. But that’s ok, I don’t need to. It is not my job to worry about the future, my job is to live in the present. My job is to fully love those around me and serve them to the best of my ability. The person who shared these words with me became a friend these past few weeks. I am so grateful for the words he poured into me, even if I wasn’t ready to accept them. He was bold. He told me what I needed to hear, even if I didn’t want to. He was a stranger but he could see that there is a better version of me, and he was willing to help bring that out. He became a friend with a few words.
An action
There hasn’t been just one action, it has been a collection of actions. Picking us up form the airport, teaching us to cook, taking us different places, joking around with us; this is how I have felt the most love while being here. None of these things had to be done, but they were. People chose to love us in that way while we were here. They bought into us with the knowledge we will only be here for a month. That didn’t stop them, and no longer will it stop me. I will not be afraid to become close to people I know I may soon be leaving. They are what makes this whole experience worth something. They make life worth something.
As I leave Costa Rica, I know I have left my mark. I have left it in the kids I have met, I have left it on the school I painted, but even more, Costa Rica has left its mark on me. I know it’s the little things that make the biggest difference. It’s the little things that can change someone’s day, year or life. Smile, hug, give, talk, act. Be that for someone, let someone be that for you. Don’t worry about what could happen, if you never try, nothing good could happen.
