Meet my best friend.
Meet my best friend and her husband, Zack.
They're having a BABY.
On September 22, 2012 around 8:34 CST, my best friend announced that she was expecting. Yes, that is correct. She is pregnant.
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My best friend is not pregnant. My best friend is not pregnant. My. Best. Friend. Is. Not. Pregnant. MY. BEST. FRIEND. IS. PREGNANT. No matter how many times I say it or replay her announcement, it just doesn’t seem real. My best friend is pregnant. MY best friend is pregnant. My BEST friend is pregnant. My best FRIEND is pregnant. My best friend IS pregnant. My best friend is PREGNANT.
MY BEST FRIEND IS PREGNANT.
She’s always been there. She was there when my parents got a divorce. She was there when I lost my grandfather and my grandmother. She was there through every crush I had. She was there in the beginning of every relationship. She was there for every breakup. She was there when I was trying to figure myself out. She was there when I found Jesus. She was there when I applied for the World Race, and she was one of the firsts I told when I was accepted.
She’s my best friend. My best friend is having a baby. I’m leaving the country for 11 months. I can’t leave the country. I can’t leave her. I can’t leave that baby. She’s been there for me. I have to be there for her. ___________________________________________
Having kids was something Stacy was made for. It's all she talked about since I've known her. I knew that motherhood was something God would eventually lead her to. What I didn't know when they got married was that God was leading me into missions, all the while leading her into motherhood. I didn't expect this, especially at the same time.
Why would God do this to me? She's my BEST friend. Leaving my friends was going to be hard enough. Now I have to leave this baby.
Some of you are thinking I'm crazy. She's just my friend.
No.
She is my best friend. She is my sister. She is my sister in Christ. She knows me better than I know myself. She tells me what I need to do about circumstances. She listens to me. She is my family. She is my support system. For those of you who watch Grey's Anatomy, she is my person.
I was afraid that Stacy and I would drift apart when she got married. I was afraid that Zack would become her person. I was afraid of losing her. They've been married a little over two years, and Stacy and I are closer than we've ever been. #PrayerAnswered
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I'm ashamed to admit that when Stacy first told me she was expecting, I was upset. My selfish desires got the best of me, and I resented God…. again. I wanted to be happy for her, I promise I did. But why couldn't this baby wait until I got back from The Race?!
This child won't know who I am. This child will have no idea that his/her mother has had the biggest impact on my life.
This sucks!
The next couple of days were filled with resentment. She was so happy, overflowing with joy, and I couldn't be (genuinely) happy for her.
I began to cry out to God, absolutely furious with Him.
Why would You do this, God? She's my best friend! I am God. Trust Me.
What about me, God? What's going to happen to me? You are My child. She is My child. Trust Me.
I'm going to lose my best friend, aren't I? A friend loves at all times. -Proverbs 17:17 Trust Me.
"Jamie, trust Me!"
I heard Him loud and clear. I'm supposed to be her best friend. I'm supposed to be her sister in Christ. Yet, I was so consumed with selfishness, I missed the biggest picture of all.
I'M GOING TO BE AUNT!
I started crying. I couldn't stop crying. This whole time I was worried about being forgotten. This whole time I was worried about losing Stacy. This whole time I was worried about never knowing this baby. This whole time, I stopped listening to God. Stacy and I have grown, like wildflowers, together in Christ over last couple of years. I have been extremely blessed to be able to share my walk with Christ with her. Now, God is leading us on two separate paths. He is leading me into The World Race. He is leading her into motherhood. Although those paths are no longer the same, we will remain sisters in Christ.
Always.
God's timing is SO perfect that, Lord willing, this baby will be born about a month and a half before I leave. How awesome is that?! I'll be able to love on this baby and take tonnnnsss of pictures to share with my R Squad!
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For Stacy and Zack- I love you, and I am SO happy for you. I cannot wait to be able to share this miracle with both of you. You both have become such beautiful children of God, and now you're children get to experience it, too. You better show this baby lots of photos of me while I'm gone so he/she will know who I am when I wrap him/her up in my arms when I get back. You two are going to be wonderful parents, and this child will be LUCKY to be able to call you Mom and Dad. Stacy, you have been my best friend. We have grown so much that I call you my sister. I thank God for putting you in my life. You are going to be an amazing mother (and I an amazing aunt). 🙂
