When I wasn’t asked to be a team leader at Training Camp, I questioned The World Race. I questioned the authority I was put under. I questioned AIM and it’s policies. I questioned myself. I started to resent the last 4 years I’d spent in leadership.
I was arrogant, cocky, and entitled.
As the race went on and I saw some of the stresses my team leader was put under, the glory of being a team leader quickly faded. I saw how hard it was to handle the tough situations, to deliver the bad news, or to lead the difficult feedback. Despite how qualified my team leader was or how encouraging he was, it was easy to see that being a team leader wasn’t all kicks and giggles.
Then, at the end of month three in Romania, they raised up a fellow teammate to be a team leader. I figured it would come eventually. I saw the way she stepped up when she needed to, and I saw her leading us when she didn’t even know she was doing it. She was easy to follow. I was happy for her; I knew she’d be great at it, but I was jealous. Once again, I was overlooked.
My arrogance transformed into pain and the feeling of inadequacy.
But something happened in India. My new team leader asked our team if any of us would ever want to be a team leader, and my initial response was “yes!” but that didn’t come out of my mouth. Instead, my answer was “I’d like to think that somebody believed in me enough to think I’d be good at it.”
After spending some time thinking about his statement, I came to the realization how awesome it is to have no worries. I grasped the concept of no responsibility. I understood the freedom I had in being just a team member. So I gave up the idea of being a team leader.
I focused my energy on my weaknesses, and the areas I could grow in. I focused more on my relationship with Christ. I put my energy in my teammates, and my relationships at home.
Then it happened. Everything and nothing that I ever wanted to happen. I was asked to be a team leader.
After lots of quiet time with Jesus, I said yes. I was reluctant and horrified, but I believed in the God who spoke truth into my life. I believed that there was a season for everything, and I believed that He had given me the tools to do what He called me to do.
