I was created with a burning desire to thrive. A passion to see the world and change it little by little, to love with my whole heart, to live in perfect peace and harmony with my soul.
I had this vision for my life, yet couldn’t quite put the pieces together to complete the puzzle. I’ve spent the majority of my life making decisions based off of what looks appealing to those keeping a close eye, what others will find captivating. I’ve found my worth in performing as an athlete, moving up in my job, getting a college degree, looking pretty, being popular.
Sure those things have brought me different forms of happiness, but never enough to fill my heart with enough goodness to say I confidently have found my identity.
Trying to be who everyone else wants you to be is exhausting. Eventually, I was given two paths to travel down. The one wide and chosen by many, or a small and narrow path, that looks quite unappealing to most. A choice of continuing to live my life trying to fulfill the expectations of the world, or choose the path lead by God and allow him to establish my steps.
I didn’t know what was missing, but I knew there was a void. A void I filled with sex, drugs, and alcohol. Areas I thought were “normal” for my age to test the waters in, hoping to fill a void that I didn’t actually realize was there until I found Christ.
Being found isn’t as beautiful if you don’t admit that you once were lost.
Through a relentless pursuit, I’ve been found and can honestly say that when you find your value in him, when you place your life in his hands, seeking worldly things to fill anxiety, to fill loneliness, to find where you belong, to fill your lack of identity, are no longer your first choice.
Sure those worldly things are constant temptations, a comfort I can always chose to step back into. A comfort I have chosen over God too many times to count.
I am choosing to live a life of which radiates the approval of Jesus. I no longer am fearful of what comes next because I know that God has big plans for me. The more I ask him to direct me and guide my life, his willingness to provide is revealed. God designed us in a unique way. He wants us to flourish, to be successful, hardworking, passionate, and influential. The beautiful thing about his vision and standard for living is that it doesn’t change. His love, his grace, his comfort and direction will always be present. Unlike the expectations of the world, his are constant.
Finding my identity in Him has awakened my soul and for the first time I feel ALIVE.
The moment I said yes to following Jesus, I was set free. Free from trying to morph into whoever I was supposed to be for the day, free from winning the approval of others, free from feeling lost and finding comfort in the wrong things. Free from placing my value in my achievements.
My comfort is in Him and forever will be.
The World Race is 11 months of growth, divine encounters with Jesus, unexplainable adventures, and so much joy as you explore new cultures and how you can bring love to the lost. The Instagram and Facebook pictures make it look beyond glamorous, because it is. This chapter of my life will come to an end, at which point onlookers will say, “Welcome back to reality.”
Jesus is my reality.
Jesus is where I find my worth and my comfort. I’ve had this hidden fear of people telling me I’m different now, that I’ve changed. I am different. My heart is renewed. I have new standards for my life and who I want to be moving forward.
I want to find wholeness in Him.
This 11 month journey will eventually come to an end, but my love for Jesus and my identity through him has just begun. I know who I am and who I want to be moving forward. I want to live a life that honors Christ in all that I do. I want to love those who don’t see eye to eye with this lifestyle of mine and I want to show the world how alive you can feel when you say yes to living a life so rich with Gods goodness.
I want to be a light in the darkness. A drop in the water creating a ripple effect to everyone around me.
I want my life to radiate his grace, to be a story of his goodness.
I want to live a life so rooted in my love for God that when I meet him at the end of my life he says, “Well done!”
