One of the most fulfilling and peaceful places to be in my life is the moment at which my head and my heart align and even if just briefly, everything makes sense. These moments of revelation don’t come in excess, because it requires diligence and release to get there. It’s uncomfortable. I believe it only truly occurs when everything built up around me is stripped away and I am left exposed, naked and free from distraction, free from comfort. A space away from anything and everything keeping me from meeting the Father at the core of who I am, of who he is, and simply listening to his heartbeat for my life.
My first week here in Cote d’Ivoire was hard for a variety of reasons. Reality hit very quickly that I was back out on the field, doing the world race for another 5 months. My mind had just begun to get settled back into a rhythm of life at home, filled with family, friends and a lot of things correlated to comfort.
Through a series of a couple hard days and a lot of conversations with the Lord, he quickly humbled me and gently reminded me that I said yes to this. My yes wasn’t necessarily to Squad Leading, to being back out on the field, to leading really awesome people or traveling to a number of exciting countries. My yes was to him. Plain and simple.
Okay God, it’s you and me. What do you want this season to be?
He wants me to clear the stage.
He wants me to one by one, surrender the things in my life that I’ve idolized over him.
He wants to shine light on the areas of my life that I am not allowing him to heal.
He wants me to allow him to love me unconditionally.
He wants this to be a season of walking into freedom. Of permeating my life with his peace.
My journey of finding peace and walking in freedom, just so happens to be alongside some really incredible people known as K Squad. I have been brought to tears on numerous occasions when I feel the weight of what a privilege it is to get to be here in this position. I am humbled that God has given me a platform to speak wisdom and life into the lives of 50 really incredible people. Because at the end of the day, I’m still trying to figure it all out myself. This is a process of leading and being led, of developing myself as well as empowering each and every member of KSquad to walk deeper into who God has created them to be.
My heart is for each any every one of these people. I get to celebrate with them as they walk into new things. I get to cry with them in the moments that God wrecks their heart and pray for them in the spaces in between. It is an honor to lead them, but more importantly to be deeply loved by them in the process.
This season is a blessing that I never saw coming.
A space to clear the stage.
A platform to speak life.
A journey towards freedom.
Confirmation that his plans are always far greater than my own.
