If I have said it once I have said it a hundred times . . . okay definitely not 100, maybe just a dozen or so, but the point is that I have said it a lot. Oh, the thing that I have said? “Nepal has been the hardest, but the best month of my race so far.” That is true for me individually, and I think for James and I as a couple. So here is the highlight and the lowlight reel – The Hardest and The Bestest parts of being married during month 5
The Hardest:
James would probably say the hardest was watching me not being able to eat. During the first week and the last week of ministry I had a hard time eating the food. We were located in villages and our splendid hosts always made sure that we had plenty of delicious food to eat. The only problem was that my stomach decided that it was done eating rice.
I have never considered myself a picky eater, but I have learned that textures get me hard core. I chew, and chew, and chew, and chew, and try to swallow to no avail. I try again to chew, to chew, and then my gag reflex acts up. I learned that after too much rice, my stomach is done. It was delicious. All of the food was just fine! I hope that if any of my hosts read this that I am super appreciative of everything you did and cooked for us. I know that so many people loved all of your food. My stomach just betrayed me. But during our last week of ministry James had to watch me eat next to nothing. He watched me lose energy doing the hike back and forth to school. He watched me not able to help do as much manual labor as I usually could. And I felt like such a slacker as I felt so tired I could never fully put all of my energy into ministry. James felt helpless and useless. Unable to run to a store or to the nearest T-Bell.
During our last weekend in Nepal, our squad gathered together to regroup for a couple of days. James decided that was the perfect time to get a fever. I had to watch for two days as James laid in bed with a fever over 100. Besides buying 10 pills of fever reducer (which cost me twenty cents) I could do nothing for him. The usual things that I would do for him at home where not available. I felt like a jerk as I ran around town with everyone else and James sat in bed.
So if you are preparing to head on the race married, be prepared for the times when you feel useless. When you cannot provide for your spouse the way you possibly could at home. These are the times we realize that only God can provide comfort. We can pray, do what we can, but ultimately we learn that we are limited. These times were hard, but they also taught us about how beautiful it is to depend on God instead of on our own strength.
(Oh, and then I also got really sick after spending a month of eating rice, noodles, and veggies – and then deciding it was a good idea to eat at a Mexican restaurant. A giant chicken, guacamole burrito with chips and salsa does not like to sit well. I think I caught a glimpse of what my stomach is going to do when I get back home and start eating like an American again. Uh oh.)
I would say the hardest thing is that we did not get our own room for most of this month. There was a few days here and there between travelling – so maybe four days total – that we had our own room. So now, 5 months into the race, we have had our own room once. I have come to realize how important it is for us to pour into each other, go out on dates, and have alone time. We make it work and our leadership is aware, but sometimes there is only so much they can do.
The Bestest:
I hiked in the Himalayas. I forded a stream 12 times to hike out of a remote village. I pushed a tractor and a wagon up a hill into a village that had never had a vehicle in it before. I helped an assembly line carry hundreds of bricks up to the third floor. I shoveled gravel into buckets to be carried assembly line style up to the fourth floor. I wandered through fields. Met buffalo. Hiked tiered fields along the mountain sides. I saw the Chinese border. I went to some hot springs. I showered twice in a span of three weeks. I played soccer in a river valley. I loved on kids. I loved on adults. I covered my head at church.
And the best thing? Is that I got to do it with James. I get to (eventually) go home with someone who has all of these shared experiences with me. We get to always look back and reminisce together.
We get to grow together through all of this. We have learned how to better lead, follow, encourage, fight, worship, pray, do devotions . . . . Really we have learned how to better do life together. With Nepal being a hard month for us, spiritually, emotionally, and physically, we were put in a pressure pot. We felt the pressure, we felt shook up, we were put in situations that we never would have had to deal with in the States. And we came out stronger. We came out stronger emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and physically. We came out stronger both individually and as a couple.
Nepal was hard and it made us have hard conversations. We are speaking more into each other’s lives. It made us realize how important it is to have date night and spend alone time with each other. The world is good at driving a wedge in between us. For now it is hosts, visitors, teammates, squadmates, and things to do. Later in life it will be different things, such as careers, household chores, bills, and kids – but the effects are the same. If we do not fight for each other, if we do not make date night a priority, then life will continue to drive a wedge in between us.
So there it is. The Hardest and The Bestest of Nepal – according to our marriage.
Stay tuned for next month!
