Last but not least . . . the end of a trilogy.
A couple of weeks back God spent some time holding me very close. All right, so He is probably always holding me close, but I feel like this time He gave an extra little squeeze to make sure that I knew He was there.
He blessed my days with assurances and reminders that He is the one who will be in charge of our World Race trip. You see, I started to feel guilty as our friends, families, and communities started to show up. As generous people gave their generous blessings I started to worry.
James and I are not worth this kind of money. We cannot make enough of a difference to justify the support that we have been given. There is no way that we could make a big enough impact in these 11 countries for just one month each that would justify what we are asking people to give.
But just as my knees really started shaking and my head really started spinning, God decided to show me something.
God showed me something through Bible stories – Elijah in particular.
He showed me something through an avalanche of scripture – Colossians 3:1-4, 2 Corinthians 4:16-18, Philippians 1:3-8, John 16:27, Ephesians 2:10, Colossians 3:16-17, 1 Corinthians 15:50-58, Revelation 21:1-7.
and He showed me something through words and blogs written by those around me. I spent some time really searching through the World Race blogs and reading my fellow Squadmates recent posts. And God gave me plenty of stories and words that spoke exactly to what I was feeling.
However, my favorite was a blog that my inspiring Broekhuis-Sister-In-Law wrote recently. In the midst of a difficult situation, God seems to be blessing her with strength and wisdom that comes from the gift He gave us, His Holy Spirit.
Kendra poignantly describes to us the woes of watching her toddler striving to hold on to the one thing she thinks she needs, a cup of pretzels. Toddler refuses to let go of her only supply of life giving substance (or so she believes). This cup is the only food that the toddler has control over, so she refuses to let go.
How silly. Silly toddler. As adults we know better. As adults we know that . . . we . . . should . . . . . . . oh. . . . right . . . . I can just imagine God grinning as He watches us silly Christian toddlers clinging to the few things that we can control. And because of that we cannot live life fully, as He intended. Just like my niece could not fully enjoy the swings, the slides, the tubes, and the all over thrill of the biggest and best playground of her life so far, we cannot fully enjoy the amazing journey God can give us when we are clinging to something that we “need.”
God has been encouraging me and teaching me to let go (Well by “me” I mean James and I). There are a lot of things about this trip I want to control. However, I really would be doing a disservice to all of those who are supporting us if I tried to control every detail of this trip. One month in a country is not enough time for us, our team, and our squad to make any difference.
To those who express concern over us taking precious money and making no impact . . . well you are right. If we hang on to our cup of pretzels, to our comfort, to our “wisdom”, to our . . . well anything, we would not make a lick of difference.
Luckily, you do not have to support us. You can support the amazing work of our outstanding God by helping to send us out. I am slowly learning not underestimate our Abba Father. I am slowly realizing that I should not belittle Him. Not only can He make a world of difference in just a month . . . well, I mean come on . . . He made a whole world in just 6 days, He can surely change a country in a month.
James and I are eager to go out and be a part of God’s change in this world (part of that being God working a big change in us!!). But I warn you, do not support us. We cannot make a difference. But when you give be assured that you are supporting something bigger than this world. You are supporting the kingdom.
Thank you for your prayers and support.
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Click here to read Kendra’s blog about my adorable niece and her cup of pretzels.
