So the past couple of weeks I have been slacking a lot on pursuing my relationship with Jesus, which is probably the worst thing to do when preparing to go out on the field as a missionary. And I know a lot of people on my squad have been feeling the same way. And maybe, if we can just be honest for a moment, you might be feeling like I have been, kind of alone, and totally freaked out about how this is going to work if I haven’t been pressing in and filling myself up but I’m supposed to pour out into those I’m ministering to.
Freaking scary stuff!
Well hopefully this will encourage you!
This morning, I sat down to do my quiet time, which lately has just consisted of simply reading the Before You Go devo that my squad has been reading and then done. (And this has happened many times before where I just replace spending intimate time with God with a simple devo and done.)
But today I needed more.
So I decided to write in my journal for the first time in about 3 weeks…and listen to some worship. I began to write “Why do I feel so alone”, I only got as far as the “Why…” And then God began working! He reminded me that I’m not alone, I never was and never will be. He’s all around me and in everything! It’s just the douchebag devil (yes that’s exactly what I wrote, just being honest here) trying to make me feel alone. And then He REALLY began to confirm it with a series of 5 songs!
The first song that came on my playlist after writing in my journal was Closer by Bethel. The chorus says “So pull me a little closer, take me a little deeper, I want to know your heart, I want to know your heart.” Exactly what my heart was desiring, a closeness with God that I had been missing recently! That kind of blew my mind for a moment, but it didn’t stop there.
The next two songs that came on, as my playlist was on shuffle, was All The Poor and Powerless by All Sons and Daughters and Tell the World by Hillsong United. Part of All The Poor and Powerless says, “Shout it, Go on and scream it from the mountains. Go on and tell it to the masses, that He is God.” And Tell the World says, “Tell the world that Jesus lives, tell the world that, tell the world that. Tell the world that He died for them, tell the world that, tell the world that.” God used these two songs to simply remind me that my mission is to go and tell it to the masses that Jesus is still alive and that He loves them oh so much!
The next song was Back To Life by Hillsong Young and Free. This song just simply pumped me up as God brought me back to life reminding me of His love for me. “When all seems lost in my brokenness. I call Your Name and You answer. Held by Your love. Held by Your love.”
And finally the last song, one of my all time favorites, was Ready Now by The Desperation Band. The whole time I was doing my devotional time I kept thinking “Man they should really play Ready Now at launch, it would just be such a perfect song for us!” And then boom! It came on my playlist and I just got so excited knowing that I am ready to do whatever He wants me to do!
So I tell you all of this to encourage and challenge you,
be vulnerable with God.
Don’t be afraid to ask Him the hard questions or tell Him just how you feel. He already knows it, He just may be waiting for you to surrender and express it! You never know what He will do through that!
