Yes, I believe in my heart that God has called me for a higher purpose, a bigger calling and I may post beautiful pictures of the different countries I’ve been to so far. But life hasn’t been all perfect as what it seems. With this calling, comes attacks from the enemy.
I have been struggling spiritually this month with my own personal journey. I feel like it’s been harder for me to get up in the morning to spend time with the Lord, I feel like I’ve been less patient with my teammates, and I’ve been buying into the enemy’s lies more. I’ve been less focused and motivated since we got to Cambodia and I hate to say it but I was so on fire for God last month in Bolivia and I don’t know where it all changed since we got here.
I mean… I’m still spending time with God, but I feel like I’ve been spiritually sluggish since we arrived and I’ve just been dragging my feet along with whatever we need to do and wherever we need to go. I’ve also been catching myself being a little snappy and sarcastic towards my teammates which I apologized about. Although I’m still experiencing precious and victorious moments in the work that we’re doing here, I feel like I’ve been less intentional with God, less intentional with my team, and less intentional with our ministry work. I guess you can say I’ve just been going with the flow…
I asked myself why have I been feeling this way when I’m loving every single thing about Cambodia? I love the people, I love our hosts, I love the food, I love the culture, I love the good coffee and bubble tea, I love everything about this beautiful country.
As I was jet lagging the first couple of nights and couldn’t sleep at all, God spoke to my heart and said I need to learn how to REST. I need to learn how to take my REST DAY seriously. I need to learn how to REST in Him. I need to learn how to spend more alone time with Him without feeling rushed, and I need to learn to be more intentional with Him to get rejuvenated, reenergized, and recharged.
Since the race started, I’ve just been on the go. On our adventure days, I’d be the first to get up and go out. On our rest days, I would take advantage of the day off and instead of resting, I look for something fun to do. I mean why not? I’m only in this country once right? So why not take advantage of it?
So then I realized as I was crying out to the Lord to let me sleep.
The reason I’ve been struggling is because I haven’t been resting. I haven’t been resting in Him. I haven’t been resting at all. No wonder I feel restless and easily irritated. No wonder I’m buying into the enemy’s attacks and lies. I have been giving him space to distract me, discourage me, and get me off course.
This month I’m realizing that I have to fight harder. I have to push through and persevere twice as much. I have to be more intentional. I have to knock down every spiritual attack, and not buy into the enemy’s lies.
This month God is teaching me to REST so I can refocus. Rest so I can gain back confidence. Rest so I can get back on track. Rest so I can get fresh revelations. Rest so I can overcome the enemy. Rest so I can get more clarity. Rest so I can be stronger. Rest so I can recharge. Rest so I can continue what God has called me to do.
It’s normal to feel weak. It’s normal to fall down, but it’s what you do when you fall down that matters. It’s what you do when you feel weak that matters.
Are you going to be grumpy and keep walking around feeling sluggish blaming everyone and everything around you? Or are you going to fight back and learn to REST in Him so you can get your ground back?
It’s our choice.
