If I were to be completely honest, the first couple of weeks being back home in California were very rough for me. I felt restless, overwhelmed, with an extremely cluttered mind. I think everything that just happened, happened in a blink of an eye. I left my life in New York, I finished an intense 10-day training camp in Georgia, and now I’m home transitioning back to what feels most familiar, while trying to figure out how to best prepare for this race. I had no idea how to process everything so I ended up shutting down mentally. I didn’t have the urge to spend quality time with anybody. I just felt anti-social and wanted to be alone, at least for the first two weeks. I had to learn how to get my mind and emotions back on track.
It is during these low moments that I realized I truly cannot do life out of my own strength. I can’t do this race out of my own ability. We can only do so much for so long, but one way or another, we will end up short, end up in a ditch or a dead-end road, and we will find ourselves, weak, helpless, and vulnerable. This is exactly how I felt and I needed God to help me refocus and get back on the right path. But little did you know, God always shows up when you need Him most! It’s amazing and mind-blowing that He has given me precious, teaching moments as I’m struggling and trying to figure out how to get past this hurdle. He whispers into my little heart and gives me wisdom, direction, and clarity.
So ok God, I’m over here falling apart! How can I get back on track and refocus? How can I best prepare myself spiritually, mentally, and emotionally for the next month before launch? His answer was “Spend alone time with me, volunteer, serve your family, and stay involved”
1. SPEND ALONE TIME WITH HIM.
What does that look like? Lots of walks, staring at nature, exploring the city, having coffee dates with Jesus at cafes, studying and meditating on His Word, and just simply being intentional, praying, and worshipping Him.
His Teaching Moment:
As I was walking in the streets of SF on a beautiful afternoon, I was praying and asking God to speak to me. All of a sudden, I run into this powerful piece of art, which spoke directly to my heart.
Two brains connected, shaped as plants, and roots attached to each other. Wow! Being connected to the main source and being rooted in Him is what He needed to tell me. God is my #1 source for wisdom, strength, growth, and faith. I cannot pour out into others if I am not filled with His Presence and Spirit. In this very moment, He gave me a special reminder and revelation that I need to stay deeply connected to Him in order for me to lead effectively and accomplish what He’s called me to do. It is Him where my everything comes from.
2. VOLUNTEER WORK
What does that look like? Serving and feeding the homeless, gardening and planting, and driving through traffic an hour away to help with grocery prepping for low-income families only to find out that the project is cancelled…
His Teaching Moment:
“When things don’t go as planned, what do you do? How can you still glorify Me regardless of the unexpected changes?”
In this moment, He taught me how to keep a good attitude and look for ways to still help out anyway. When this happened, I felt like God was teaching me to stay positive instead of being discouraged and frustrated. So I decided to stay in the warehouse as I was accompanied by a great lady named Beverley. And even though I was by myself, I prepared 25 full bags of groceries! That’s 25 less bags they have to prep! It felt rewarding, I felt accomplished, and I knew it was definitely a teaching moment for me. There may be times where this might happen when I’m out in the field and when it does, how do I handle it? Do I respond with frustration or a positive attitude?
3. SERVE YOUR FAMILY
What does that look like? Spending one-on-one time, dropping off and picking up the siblings from school, cooking them your specialty bomb lasagna you’ve been bragging about for the last 3 years, lunch and dinner dates, and dressing as Princess Poppy (from Trolls) for your niece’s Birthday Party.
His Teaching Moment:
“Instead of being served by your family because you’re visiting home, how can you best serve them?”
At first, I was a little hesitant and I didn’t want to look crazy being the only person dressed in a costume, but hey! SERVE anyway! And if this is one way I can serve my family, who cares if you look crazy! It was actually fun and more than a few of us ended up dressing up as well! I think I might’ve found a new side gig?!
4. STAY INVOLVED
What does that look like? Being invited to Vive Church SF, attending their life group, grow course, team worship night, learning about leadership, witnessing new friends’ baptisms, and just being surrounded by other like-minded young people who are hungry for Christ.
His Teaching Moment:
“I told you I will equip you. Didn’t I say I got your back? You were worried about fundraising? You’re nervous about being a team leader? You feel like you’re not equipped enough to be a missionary? You think I would leave you hanging in SF? I GOT YOU!”
Yes, it was heartbreaking to leave my amazing home church – Christ Tabernacle in NYC. I grew so much in my walk because of being involved, and I was torn because now, I no longer have the community I once had. Yet in this moment, He reminded me He will continue to equip me wherever I’m at, whatever position I’m called to do, and regardless of my doubts and lack of faith.
