If someone told me a few years ago I would leave my downtown Los Angeles apartment, sell all of my belongings, and backpack for eleven months to eleven different countries, I would have laughed.
It’s funny because I have never been issued a passport. I have never stepped out of the united states. I have never been on a mission trip.
So, why would God call me to this?
When he initially ignited in me a heart for the mission field, I didn’t know what he was calling me to, at the time. I remember sitting on the roof top of my apartment overlooking the city skyline pondering the purpose of life, the purpose of the cross, & how my true purpose can only be found when the two speak to each other.
Then Jesus said to his disciples, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross, and follow me. If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it. And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul? Is anything worth more than your soul?
-Matthew 16:24-26
The Lord began to break my heart for the least of those in the city. I was drawn so strongly to the homeless that I passed daily walking to & from school. It got to the point we knew each other like old friends. Business men walking by would give me the eye of concern in fear for my safety, as if every homeless person was of evil intent. But after talking to these people as people, not just a charity jar to throw change into, my heart exploded.
My intention was to just listen, to give them my time instead of just the change in my pocket. The funny thing was, I didn’t approach them with hopes of preaching Jesus & them accepting. My heart hurt for them. My immediate response was to just love on them, rather than preach away. Its funny because somehow Jesus would show up in the midst of their story more so than from my mouth.
Like never before my heart was bursting with love for people, not just the homeless. Within me was a deep yearning to release it. I felt called to the mission field. I thought my long term mission field was the sidewalks of L.A. At the time it was, but not for long. I served with Fred Jordan Missions on Skid row, while serving there, the Lord tugged on my heart even more.
I dipped my toes in the water and the Lord pulled me in.
I came across the World Race and my heart did a little dance within me. I looked into other mission trips because I thought eleven months was too long for a first time missionary, too much of a sacrifice of time, and I was too young for the twenty-one plus age requirement.
The holy spirit punched me in the heart and said, “I want it all.”
You want it all? You mean you want my whole heart, my job in Beverly Hills, my Los Angeles address, my future plans & childhood dreams?
Well, what better person to take it?
So I gave it, counting down the days until I turn twenty-one.
Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?” And I said, “Here am I. Send me!”
-Isaiah 6:8
