‘WHY NOW JESUS?” “PLEASE NOT TONIGHT”
Thailand is a beautiful place but even more it is filled with beautiful and precious people I now call friends. This blog is a sorry of God answering the cry of my heart the night I said goodbye to two friends I meet in a bar in the red light district of Chiang Mai. For this blog and their privacy I have changed my two friends names to Anna and lily.
I was dreading was saying goodbye to two precious women I meet in the bars of the red light district. Their bar name was “Same Same but Different” Honestly I could not think of a better name because this bar was different. The atmosphere of friendship, love , and family is what I felt when I entered in. My teammate Rachel and I were the only customers there on most nights and if there were other customers they were regulars or friends. One night we walked in to find everyone cooking a huge dinner for some of their family friends who were leaving the next day to travel. Anna and Lilly welcomed Rachel and I into the celebration like we were family. Every night we entered that bar we were welcomed with love. Anna opened up to Rachel and I the first night we meet her. She told us all about her life and all that she had been through. Lilly however’ was new to working in the bars, in fact she had only been there about a month. She was my age, and as sweet as could be. We sat and ate mangos together on most nights, and played connect four.
On our last night in Thailand Rachel and I walked in the rain to go say our goodbyes to Anna and Lilly. I would not think of walking into any other bar other than the Same Same But Different bar looking like a stray wet dog from all the rain, but I had friends there I needed to say goodbye too.
There was something different this last night though. It was busy… there were several male customers inside. I saw my sweet friend Lilly and she avoided eye contact with me. Her focus was on the male customer who was speaking with her.
I then saw the man pay money not just for his drink but for Lilly too.
As Lilly went and put on her coat, my prayer to God quickly changed from “Jesus help me have a sweet goodbye tonight”, to a full blown yelling match from me to God. “Jesus WHY of all nights do I have to see my friend be bought? WHY on my last night in Thailand do I not get to spend time with Lilly, but instead watch her leave with this man.”” WHY God? PLEASE let her stay Jesus.”
I was fighting to hold back tears, and holding back the urge to yell out loud. You know when people scream into a pillow to muffle the sound? Thats what I felt my spirit doing. Shouting all of these things inside, muffled just enough no one else but God could hear.
Then as we got ready to leave, I looked up and Lilly was sitting in her normal seat at the corner of the bar. WHAT? HOW? no time to ask, but only give her the tightest hug I could to say goodbye.
I don’t think I ever wanted a prayer answered as bad as I did in that moment. To open my eyes and see Lilly sitting at the bar. And then she was. My hallelujahs were multiplied.
As we walked home Rachel said the man who bought Lilly for the night told her that he felt that he should but Lilly for the night.. but not to take to a hotel, buy her so she could have the night off and go home and rest.
God revealed himself so much to me in that moment. He allowed me to meet Anna, and Lilly and to show His love to them the whole month, He was so faithful to let Lilly stay that night to say goodbye, but He also allowed me to see the reality of what Lilly’s life looks like and to show how desperately He is needed in that place.
I would love to say I will see Lilly again when I go back to Thailand, and I would love nothing more. But if it means I see her in that bar, or any bar- stuck in the same lifestyle then my heart would break.
That is the Fathers love for us. He does not want to see us stuck in the same place, in the same situations. It breaks His heart when he sees us sitting in the prison cell He opened the door to along time ago. He wants us to be free and to chase after Him.
I am now entering month six of my race. The halfway point. Please pray that my pace of the race does not slow down but I run to see my forerunner Jesus.
My last and FINAL deadline for the world race is July 1st. Just four weeks away. I am about 1,800 away from being fully funded. Please prayerfully consider donating to help this journey continue. You can donate by clicking the support me tab under my picture in the top left of the screen.
