I’ll be honest.
Although now, after being in Puerto Rico for almost three weeks now and loving it even more that I even expected. My first couple days here were a little rough.
Of course, I didn’t show it, but my goodness did I feel it. I started to feel the weight of how long eleven months is. As much as I know it will be over before I even know it. It is still a long time to be away from home.
Home.. that word can hold a lot of different emotions. For most it evokes the feelings of comfort, safety, love, and familiarity. Those are all words that I have torn myself away from when I chose to do the world race. The farther I flew away on January 9th the more painful that fresh wound stung. Even all of the newness and distractions that that were right in front of my face, the second I landed, my thoughts kept coming back to, ‘Can I really do this? Can I really sleep on the floor, shower without warm water, live out of a back-pack, not hold hands with my boyfriend, go without eating a home cooked meal with my family, or play fetch with my puppy for eleven whole months? And if I can, how can I not be sad while doing it?’
I know I have so much greatness ahead of me, but I left so much of me behind. I left home behind. Exactly when the weight of these realities were pressing down on my shoulders and through what should have been massive barriers, God spoke straight to my heart.
Let me tell you how this happened and what was said..
The first service we attended of Pastor Peters was two days after we arrived. He understands more Spanish that he can speak, and although we have grown now to know and love him, at the time he was still a Spanish speaking stranger in a foreign country.
As the pages of our bilingual bibles flipped to the reference Pastor Peter directed us to, I was honestly thinking..
“Oh shoot, I hadn’t considered the fact that every sermon I hear for the next 11 months will be in Spanish. This is going to make paying attention and staying away quite difficult. Lovely….”
God had other things in mind for the next hour.
“….Salmos dieciocho, uno y dos” Even my grade school knowledge of Spanish I knew the reference he was directing the service to was Psalm 18:1-2; so I flipped there and read ahead…
“I love you, O Lord, my strength.
the Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;
my God is my rock, in Whom I take refuge.
He is my shield and the horn of my Salvation, my stronghold”
“…Well at least that’s an appropriate verse for this time in my life. That was spot on with encouragement for me right now, thanks Lord for the one thing I will understand during this service to be something to remind me that You’re my strength and fortress..”
And that’s where I thought God speaking to me during this Spanish service would end. I was so wrong.
As Pastor continued to speak, I heard Katie, sitting to my left talking. I thought she was saying something to me so I leaned in to hear what she had to say. The closer I got however, I realized that she was translating what Pastor was saying. She told me she is nowhere close to fluent in Spanish, but she would try her best to help me understand the main points. So through God laying a specific sermon on Pastor Peters heart, him preaching it in Spanish and an inexperienced Spanish minor attempting to translate next to me, God pierced my heart with a truth I needed to hear, at that exact moment, in Spanish.
Pastor had a few points that he spoke on, but I want to expand on the two that I grabbed onto and still have not loosened my grip.
Point One: We need to have confidence in our Salvation
This rang so true for me because for the last many months preparing for the World Race, I have prayed every day for the strength to run this race with endurance and stand up to my homesickness and exhaustion with strength. God used a Spanish speaking pastor to remind me of the power I have in Christ because of my Salvation. When I accepted Jesus Christ’s payment for my sins and believed He is the all-powerful God, I was made complete. The moment I was filled with the Holy Spirit, I was given all the strength I will ever need. So it’s not a question of when or if God will answer my prayer and give me the strength to make it through these next eleven months. I don’t need to beg because strength in Him has already been given to me to a fullness that I could never run dry. I just need to have the confidence in my Salvation and not let Satan fill me with doubt. God has completed it all and made me full in Him and so, I already have all the strength I need. I just need to tap into it.
((Don’t forget that all of this is being spoken in Spanish and translated into English))
Point Two: God is our refuge, God is our Home
Pastor Peter asked us to think of home and what that means to us. He proceeded to describe what home is to most people and I fully agreed. Home is where we feel safe, it’s where we’re comfortable and where we can find peace and joy despite what’s going on outside of our refuge we call home. I’ve heard God referred to as our refuge multiple times, just read through Psalms. However, I had never heard ‘refuge’ replaced with ‘home’ and that’s exactly what Pastor Peter did. God should be home to us. That was encouraging and convicting for me all at the same time. I wasn’t feeling content or fearless away from what I knew as home. On this trip I will be in God’s presence more than any other time in my life and yet I was fearful and sad. I wasn’t seeing Christ as my true refuge, I wasn’t seeing Christ as home. This truth did not defeat me, nor did Pastor Peter intend it to. God used Pastor Peter to show me that I am not away from home. I am home, in Christ, wherever I go.
After the service Pastor Peter had the youth in his youth group put their hands on our team and pray for us. In that moment I felt the comfort of my brothers and sisters in Christ stronger than ever. Although I could not understand theirs prayers, God was not intimidated by the language. I think He wanted to show off a bit to be honest, and I’m so glad He did because it brought me to tears. I was overwhelmed by the comfort and encouragement He poured all over me, in Spanish.
God knew what I needed to hear to encourage me to be courageous on this adventure and He knew I needed to hear it all in Spanish to show me that although that is the primary language I will here all year, He is more powerful than language barriers and He has great things planned to teach me through these so called barriers. Because when It comes to Christ’s love, there are no barriers.
Don’t ever doubt the power of God’s Holy Spirit that is alive and well on every Christians heart. I just found out that although my human mind doesn’t speak Spanish (yet!) the Spirit inside of me speaks it fluently
