It was a small, deserted, beach restaurant, with only three things on the menu, and two tables to eat at. Which wasn’t a problem considering there were only us four girls and three other people who ventured in far enough to find out the place was actually open.
We soon found out that one of the guests was a man, (I’d guess in his 60’s) who spoke English and we instantly dove into small talk with him. Friendly chit-chat and some updates from him on the latest happenings in the U.S. (since we have been out of the loop for so long) were the basis of our talk until the conversation took a quick turn.
It began when Paul noticed a tattoo of Brie’s. It was a tattoo of two hands, with a rope that had been binding them together, freshly broken. He asked the significance and she proceeded to explain that it signifies the freedom that God gives us from sin when we accept a life in Him. As soon as the words came out of her mouth, his defenses went up.
“Whoa, I am not the guy to be talking to about that” he said right off the bat with a laugh and two thrown up defensive hands. Kay didn’t let that intimidate her. She saw it as an opportunity to press forward. This turned into a discussion where we found out he was a soldier and he prays because he doesn’t know how you couldn’t after seeing those things. Or why you wouldn’t shoot up some ´good prayers’ for your family. He admitted to the feeling that there has to be something bigger, something that made everything, but that’s where it stopped for Paul. He didn’t believe it was personal. According to him, no one heard the prayers and surely none of them were ever answered.
From here, Kay transitioned into her powerful testimony. She explained how she went from walking in complete darkness for 31 years, to when she found the Lord and it was, “Like turning the lights on for the first time.” She was hit in the face with the truth and never doubted it after that. Encouraged, yet still skeptical he turned to Brie and I and asked “I’m assuming you both have the same ‘big moment’ stories like this?” I honestly answered him with, “Nope, not even close.” And from there was able to tell Him that although I had grown up in a Christian home, always being taught that this is truth. There have been many times that I have needed to decide to simply ‘choose faith’. When there are times I don’t understand or don’t feel God, I need to choose to have faith that He is there and He loves me despite my ever changing feelings. I then related it to him. I told him that ‘choosing faith’ relates to people in his situation. You’re not ever going to have all the answers, but the time is going to come when you will need to either ‘choose faith’, or not. Brie also shared her testimony and with all three of our uniquely beautiful testimonies laid out there, it made the moment so un-fabricated, unrehearsed, so real.
After a bit more discussion he told us his wife was going to show up soon and he would have to leave. So Kay asked if we could pray for him before he left. His response was “Uh.. suuuureee?.. If that’s what you feel you need to do, I guess..?” Extremely awkward with a hint of sarcasm. So we bowed our heads. Kay prayed a heartfelt blessing over him, she thanked God for him and the opportunity that we had to meet him and talk with him. And that God would continue to work in his life that he would find and accept God’s love for him, soon. I don’t remember hearing much more of her prayer because I was praying my own prayer silently to myself.
I begged God to reveal himself to Paul. That God would plague Paul’s mind with questions on the existence of God, until he sought out answers. That God would touch Paul’s heart like He never had before so that Paul couldn’t deny God’s love for him. I demanded that Paul would feel God’s love for him.I felt a love for Paul and a responsibility for his salvation. Something i was not expecting to feel when I went up to the restaurant for a cold bottle of water on my day off at the beach.
When the prayers ended, ‘Amen’ was said, and our heads rose. We were caught off guard when we saw Paul, ex-soldier, grown man, New Yorker, there-aint-no-God Paul; in tears. He mumbled a ‘Wow, thank you’. He told us that he could really tell we meant everything we said and that he´d never felt it like that before. Knowing he would have to leave soon, I challenged him to cry out to God. I asked him, wouldn’t it make sense that ‘if’ God created the entire world, He could easily reveal his authenticity to Paul. If he really desired it and asked for it. I also, challenged him to examine this meeting. To note the fact that four American girls, all from different states, met him at a deserted beach in Panama, and the conversation of God’s love for him came up because of a tattoo. That’s not chance. As he nodding in agreement, because he couldn’t formulate words, his wife called him from the beach and it was time for them to go. While tears were still being wiped from his eyes, he deeply thanked us and left for the beach.
I will never know the rest of Paul’s story, but I do know how it will end. With the grace and sovereignty of God, I helped plant and water a seed that I know will grow into a man’s eternity in heaven. I watched a skeptical soldier change into a tenderly loved son of God, who was beginning to witness it for the first time. Surprisingly, it wasn’t hard, in fact it was easy. At home, I was the queen of not taking the opportunity to witness to someone. I never thought I knew enough to answer all their questions. But like a quote in a podcast I listened to recently says:
All we have to do is speak what we know, with faith. Our confidence and faith in what we believe, is what God uses to create the faith in those who hear it come out of our mouths.
