It can feel really strange to be home.
One moment I am cozying up in my bed and thinking to myself wow could life get any better. I mean SERIOUSLY! My mom bought me one of those tempurpedic pillows, the ones that cradle your head so softly you’d think your head was made of precious gold, my head’s never felt so good. And don’t even get me started on my fuzzy soft bed sheets. I kid you not; I go to bed with the biggest grin on my face every night. What comfort! But then there are other moments when I catch myself staring out across my back porch trying to decide if this is really it. Is this my home, indefinitely? I look out at the rain coming down in sheets and remember a time in Malaysia, almost a year ago, hard to believe, when the rain came down harder than I had ever seen. Day after day it poured, and our house was so delicately constructed we heard every drop that fell.
I’ve been back in the United States for a little over two months now, but I’m only rounding out my second consecutive week in my own home. I was blessed with many opportunities to travel and see old friends and families that have become another home to me throughout my four years in college. I wonder as the weeks begin to accumulate and I surpass that 4 week mark, how I will feel in this place. Is it normal to have this pressing desire to get up and go but also have your heart cry out for stability? I’m not quite sure.
But what I will say for all those Racers soon to be nearing the end of their Race and worrying about whether or not the God of no limits, the God they have so openly experienced over the last 11 months, the God that blew down any walls we may have constructed to keep Him locked in, the God that is not only living but ABLE, THAT GOD is here too! In fact, believe it or not, I feel closer to Him now than I ever have before. I can’t speak for everyone, I know we go through seasons where we are in the wilderness and seasons where we are on the mountain top – but for me, I see my faith growing each and every day because for the most part, it’s just Him and me. Community is a beautiful thing, but at some points I got dangerously close to making my team my God. I would run to them when I should have been drawing closer to God.
I’m not exactly sure why I am telling you all this, but I guess it’s because God wanted me to tell you not to worry. Of course we all know Matthew 6:27-34 probably by heart, but He means it. He’s got you. Don’t allow yourselves to be of little faith. Instead of worrying, start praying into what He has for you! His master plan didn’t end when the World Race finished. That year was just a few stepping-stones. Keep walking in the identity He showed you and watch as He draws you in closer and closer.
Before I finished the Race, God told me He was calling me into a season of the unknown…and we all know how scary the unknown can be…that’s where fear stems from, right? Fear that we won’t be able to control things. Fear that when it comes, we won’t have all the answers. Fear that we will make a mistake, and even worse, that when we do, someone will turn around and say I told you so.
Welcome to the life of a Youth Pastor. This was the call God put on my life and let’s just say it took some convincing for me to say yes. Everything about it was unknown. Other than the church I would be serving in, I knew nothing. But with this call, God created the most amazing opportunity to demonstrate how he shows up.
My life since returning home has had some remarkable (and I’ll say, freaky) parallels to that of Moses. Now I certainly don’t mean to sound high and mighty when I say that. I mean the man literally met with God, (not just heard from Him, but God literally came down on a cloud and joined Him on the mountain Ex. 34:5) so needless to say, Moses was one anointed man. Nevertheless, I am reminded of the time when Moses was talking to God in Exodus 33 and the Lord tells Moses to leave the desert and take the people to the Promised Land. Moses replies back, now I am greatly simplifying this, but basically he says, Ok God I will do that, but first I need you to show up. I found myself in a very similar place, and I’m sure you can relate. Asking God to show up or sometimes even challenging Him to do so, is what many of us do best.
Ok God, I will go and lead the youth at my church but you are going to need to show up and tell me what to do. And in both cases, He did!
Youth have been showing up that haven’t been coming to our church for years. Not to mention, visitors specifically looking for a church that cares about youth have “mysteriously” walked through our doors right as I was announcing to our church the kick off to our new youth program. And don’t even get me started on whom the Lord has called back to the church to serve as leaders and the incredible ways God is connecting our church to the greater church body throughout our community.
Guys I am telling you, God’s reach is truly remarkable! And the greatest and scariest thing about it is that this calling has put me in a position where I have to rely entirely on Him. There is no other way. He calls me to set things into motion, and then He sends people from all ends of the earth (or in this instance from America) to make the vision real. Wow, is this amazing anyone else? It shakes me just writing it and I have the pleasure of watching it happen from the first row!
So again to all those Racers nearing that finish line or to anyone who is wondering just how close God can get, I can promise you that He is everywhere! That NEVER changes. He never leaves us. We just need to decide if the life we are going to live is one where we slow down enough to listen to Him and watch as He works. I’ve felt it myself already since my return. I’m too busy to read my Bible today. I don’t have time to finish my work and take time to pray. In short, God I don’t have time for you. The biggest things that may change from “life on the Race” to now are the things you set as your highest priority. I urge you don’t get “too busy” that you miss out on what He’s doing. God is at work, and as always, He wants us to join Him!
