When I was digging up dirt in yet another garden, I was having the time of my life. . . again. (I love dirt) But this time. . .this time it was a tad bit different. I honestly didn't know what it was. Maybe Romania just had good soil. I didn't know. All I knew was was that I was rolling around with my bare feet and my hands feet deep in this fine soil. (see what I did there?)
I could not put my finger on it. Why was this dirt so dang moist? So soft and just plain beautiful?
While I was musing after this dark brown, majestic, material plants live in, I discovered something.
A bead. A bright silver bead.
Now. I know what some of you, if not all of you, may be thinking. Why in the world is this chicka so excited about a bead. . . a silver bead?
Well fret no more for I shall tell you why.
*story time*
It all started in Ecuador where when almost every time I was paying attention to the ground around me I found a bead. Yup, a bead. So with me being me I decided "Hey Jacquelyn, why don't you collect a bead from every country you go to and then make something crafty with them when you return home?". . . . seconds later. . . "That is a fantastic idea! I just think of the coolest things."
So. From that point on I have found a bead in every country. A bead that I don't purchase. I bead that never disappoints. And a bead that is always beautiful in my eyes.
*the end*
Now do you understand my excitement for this silver bead that I had found in the beauty of what some may call top soil? You should. It makes perfect sense now. This silver bead meant a lot to me. I even shouted when I found it, because it was waiting for me and there I went. . . I found it.
I can see where a lot of you may think they know where this story/analogy may be going. Well I'm here to reassure you that your'e probably wrong. Here is where I am taking it. . .
I lost the bead.
Yup. I straight up lost the earth pearl. What's wrong with me you ask? Well. . . .*sigh* I have no idea. You would have thought that when I had found such a rarity in my case that I would have ran into my humble abode and stored this shiny token in a safe place, buuuuuut I did the somewhat exact opposite. I put this bead in the upper part of my underwear. . . (this is so not unusual for any female. when one has no pockets, we simply improvise.)
Yup.
So needless to say, it got lost.
Yup.
I lost my token of beauty from a place of beauty. I tried not to let it get to me. I didn't even bring it up in team time. I told myself that my Father would provide me with another bead from Romania. He would.
Now here's where I'm going with this.
When the Lord gives you something your expecting, you love it. You cherish it and all is beautiful. But when you lose that said something or it dies. . . you can become bitter and numb. You can get lost in life and everything becomes hard. That's the easy way out. It may not feel like it, but it is.
Don't let it. Don't choose that easy way out, because truthfully and sneakily that "easy way" makes everything else in your life hard, and it makes it hard for a long time if not the whole of your time.
There's no shame in mourning and there's no mocking true emotions. When you start being vulnerable you start growing in and with the spirit. Being raw and uninhibited will always lead to freedom.
So where does this story end?
With the Lord blessing me even when I didn't deserve it.
On my way to lunch this week during debrief I was walking along this cobble stone road when I looked down and saw something all too familiar. There it was. A tan bead in the shape of a rock. It was just sitting there. . . waiting for me to pick it up and take it home.
Know that when either something is taken away somehow or the Lord takes it away, He will always replace it with something else. It may not be in the same form or even in the way you want it to be replaced, but eventually your spirit filled heart will tell you what He replaced it with. And when that happens. . . it's absolutely beautiful.
4. One thing I ask from the Lord,
this only do I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the Lord
all the days of my life,
to gaze on the beauty of the Lord
and to seek Him in His temple.
5. For in the day of trouble
He will keep me safe in His dwelling;
He will hide me in the shelter of His sacred tent
and set me high upon a rock.
6. Then my head will be exalted
above the enemies who surround me;
at His sacred tent I will sacrifice with shouts of joy;
I will sing and make music to the Lord.
Psalm 27:4-6
