When I arrived at the Atlanta airport I collected my luggage and shuffled over to the designated World Race meeting location. There I claimed an empty space on the floor and watched as fellow World Racers arrived one after the other. Upon arrival each racer sprawled their belongings across the airport floor until a security guard kindly asked us to part the sea of backpacks to create a walkway for the rest of Atlanta travelers that we had disrupted in our chaos of excitement. There was an unexplainable sensation that radiated through the airport atmosphere…. I remember turning to my squad mate Caleb and saying, “There is a lot of Jesus in this airport.” That is the only way I could describe it, and that is the only way I can describe the entire training camp experience. I have never been surrounded by that many God loving people in my 22 years and the life it exerted was magnifying. Although I was suddenly thrown into life for the next ten days with a group of strangers, we all shared one thing in common, and that was our intense love for the Lord.
Training camp was all the feels and included an abundance of activities that removed me from my comfort zone and forced me to rely on God.
Over the course of ten days I:
– Became a professional camper (surviving wind, rain, and ant infestations)
– Learned how to take a bucket shower in under five minutes (a loofa is the key to success)
– Ate crickets for breakfast (which added nice texture to scrambled eggs)
– Forgot what I looked like (except for an occasional glance into the small, foggy, warped mirror hanging inside the luxurious porta potty)
– Cried a lot (sometimes not really sure why…)
– Fought the enemy who tried to tell me lies
– Was spiritually exhausted
– Was physically exhausted
– Was emotionally exhausted
By now you are probably thinking training camp was terrible and that these things all sound awful. But the truth is, training camp was amazing! It was challenging but provided so much opportunity for spiritual growth. All these things brought me closer to God, because when the going got tough I was able to lean on him for strength. Putting all my dependence in Him allowed us to reach a whole new level in our relationship.
I could spend hours talking about everything I learned, but one thing I walked away with is a new understanding of vulnerability.
Yes, the dreaded V word! At least that was my perception of vulnerability for a long time. By society’s definition, at least the way I learned it, vulnerability meant to be at risk of harm or exposure to potential attack on your character. In other words, being vulnerable was something I did not want to be. What I didn’t realize, was that vulnerability was actually the key to the freedom I had been longing for. Everyone has something in their life that is painful and that they have hidden away in silence. It’s been buried deep inside them where no one can ever find it. But the problem is, the enemy begins to tell us lies when it is hidden. He tells us that we are the only one going through this, we are the only one who has done this, we are not worthy, we are disgusting, no one will love us…. These lies bring us shame and make us feel bad about who we are.
Training camp, however opened my eyes to a new definition of vulnerability.
Vulnerability=FREEDOM
Vulnerability= CURE to shame
By being vulnerable we are putting our shame on the table for God and for those around us. Without silence shame can not grow and instead it is faced with empathy and understanding. There is nothing we have done or ever will do that is too big for God. We serve a compassionate, forgiving God. He is SO good!!
At training camp I allowed myself to be vulnerable with my squad mates and the reward was amazing! They spoke truths over me that the enemy had been trying to blind me from:
You are forgiven.
You are a child of God.
You are treasured.
By allowing yourself to be vulnerable you can walk with your head held high knowing not only has God forgiven you, but he has forgotten!!!! Sometimes we lose sight of His truths and it takes being vulnerable with those around us and hearing those truths come from them to be reminded of God’s unfailing love for us. It can be painful to admit your sin, but it can also be a testimony to nonbelievers and bring someone closer to God. We all have a story and everyone’s story matters. God has given us that story to use as a tool to bring others to the kingdom. So DO NOT be afraid to share your story, and DO NOT be afraid to be vulnerable, because you never know when it might bring someone to Christ, and you never know when someone might stand up and say, “Me too.” It may take your vulnerability to bring someone else freedom.
I walked into training camp scared of vulnerability and left loving it. Because of it, I was not only able to break down walls and experience so much freedom, but it allowed me to quickly build relationships with my squad mates. After ten days we went from strangers to family and I am so excited to do life with them for 11 months!
I fly back to Atlanta October 1st and will spend a few more days there training before we head to Cambodia!Stay tuned for what ministry in Cambodia will look like!
Much love,
Jac Jac
