For my last spring break ever I was blessed with the opportunity to travel to Israel through a program with Colorado State University. The highlight of my trip to Israel was being baptized at Qasr Al-Yahud which is the traditional site of Jesus’ baptism by John the Baptist. This specific area was in the West Bank, and under Palestinian authority. At this location, the Jordan River divides Israel and Jordan. Why it is called the mighty Jordan, I am not quite sure, it is more the size of a ditch or a small canal. There are buoys floating in the water to divide the river with a “no mans land” in the middle. Armed Israeli soldiers patrol their side while just a few yards across the river an armed Jordanian soldier stands guard carefully watching the baptisms occurring. You would assume that the tension in an area such as this one would fill the atmosphere, but it was the exact opposite. This place is the second holiest site on earth for Christians and I could feel it. God was present, there was no doubt. A light breeze rustled the palm tree leaves, while the warm sun kissed my skin. Doves, a symbol of the Holy Spirit, beautifully accented the path leading to the river.
It wasn’t until I stepped off the bus that I thought, Whoa, this is happening. The past few days had been crazy. Just this day we had woken up early to do the sunrise hike up Masada, followed by a little hike through Ein Gedin, a visit to Qumran, then a quick swim in the Dead Sea before finally arriving at the Jordan River, the actual location where Jesus himself was baptized. Our schedule had been packed full of fun adventures that I had no time to process what was about to happen next. As I walked toward the river, I started to panic, I hadn’t even prayed about this yet, I hadn’t asked God for guidance, I didn’t even know what I was going to say when it was my turn to give my profession of faith! This was a monumental moment in my life and I was the least bit prepared! When we stepped into the water, I remember being flooded with emotion. The water was frigid but I hardy noticed it as my body was already shaking with excitement but also anxiety. I was SO nervous. The smile on my face may convince you otherwise but I was drowning in nerves. I was nervous to the point where I couldn’t collect my thoughts and there was a moment when I thought I wouldn’t even be able to squeak out my profession of faith. I was at a loss for words. But why? Why was I so nervous? My mind raced back to the times when I had felt these nerves before. I remembered the pit in my stomach I would get during track meets when I waited anxiously in the blocks for the sound of the gun, or the nauseating feeling when my coach chose me to take the game deciding penalty kick. But those few seconds of pure anxiety have always been a reminder of my passion for what in that moment I was doing. I was nervous because what I was about to do meant the world to me. I wanted to perform, I wanted to excel. So when it was my turn to profess my faith, there was a moment when my nerves took over completely. This was more than a race at a track meet, or a shot on goal in a soccer game, and I didn’t want to mess it up. I thought about the future and all the mistakes I would make. I didn’t want to disappoint God, and I was nervous that I would.
But God calmly reminded me that he wasn’t asking me to be perfect. But rather he was pleased with my profession of faith and identifying with his son Jesus Christ. He redirected my attention to the meaning of baptism. This was my personal identification with the death, burial, and resurrection of Christ. I wasn’t just going through the motions; I was openly preaching the gospel. Standing in the water was Jesus dying on the cross, being submerged in the water was Jesus being buried, and coming up out of the water was Jesus rising from the dead.
My mind recalled the verse Romans 6:3-4
Don’t you know that all of us who were baptized into Christ were baptized into his death? We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life.
My nerves left me and were replaced with love, life, peace, grace and happiness and when I came out of the water I noticed a crowd had gathered of at least 25 people to witness this beautiful moment. This experience is one I will cherish forever. I shared it with friends, who in a short week had became family, and strangers who I had never met but who celebrated with claps and cheers.
Special thanks to Dr. Jim Lindsay, who in a few months went from being my professor, to my friend, to the man who baptized me in the Jordan River!
