Tonight I felt like Jesus wrote me a big gushing, beautiful, love letter.
Two years ago a tragedy struck my family. Jesus times His love so well.
I think we forget the extreme beauty that God lavishes upon us. Every morning the sky’s explode with color as the burning sun rises above the horizon. As the colors burst and stream forth, the morning comes upon us in a rising crescendo, dispelling darkness and bringing light.
Life is full of these extravagant displays of the love of God. The creative power and incredible blessings of Christ. Tonight I saw one.
I have a really good friend, Conrad, and he decided to surprise me last night by taking me somewhere.
I didn’t know what to expect.
All you can eat crabs? A movie? A park with dogs and rabbits? I had no idea.
When I arrived at his house, he said we were going to a concert.
I was stoked. Thinking maybe I would see some hip indy band or some strange singer I had talked about with Conrad. He’s well-versed on the music scene.
We arrived at the key arena and I heard a faint voice. A beautiful voice.
Kari Jobe. Chris Tomlin. Loui Giglio. I almost bawled on the spot.
Music speaks to me in ways few know. It links to my memories and draws out my emotions. Music is one of the deepest parts of my heart.
What Conrad didn’t know was that two years ago, this weekend, my grandfather had passed away from Cancer. During that time my family was in a violent uproar. It was just… rough.
I wrote this blog right here the day after my grandpa passed away. It was about that loss. It was the most traumatic introduction I could imagine to two years of breaking, bleeding hearts, shaping, molding, and growing. My grandpa was the rock in my family. The duct-tape. The patriarch.
What Conrad also didn’t know was that two years ago I had been ministered to by the songs of Chris Tomlin. There is this one song, I will Rise.
It proclaims that one day we will be together. We will rise up. Death is defeated and Jesus has overcame. That song became my mantra as I reflected on the deep loss of my earthly father-figure.
A year later, I was wounded by my best friends. The wind knocked out of me. It was then that for the first time I heard Kari Jobe. I would just dwell on the love and beauty God was lavishing on me.
Those days my heart was so tender. Jesus was near and sweeter than anything I have ever known. He sent me wonderful messengers of grace and love like my friend Marilyn, who told me that I could be that good man my grandfather was. I burst into tears in front of a whole crowd of asians at a department store hearing that.
Those moments shocked me. Insecurities welled up. Wounds flared. I needed so much strength to just maintain my faith.
Then in January. I culminated my trip to Asia with a road trip and we drove hundreds of miles to the new burning lights cd by Tomlin. It was this joyful moment of praise and worship. Weeks of community, laughter, and watching the spirit move!
Now it is the cusp of being two years later. This was the week it all started for me.
The songs are the same. Yet the victory they talked about then… I hadn’t walked through the flames. I had yet to see it be a tangible victory.
Tonight I stood victorious. I had made it. I had seen so many people saved. I had traded my old life for a new one. And it was all so worth it.
I keep thinking back to that one seen in the Hobbit…
Where Bilbo asks Gandalf if he can guarantee his safety…
To see it… click HERE!
I hardly recognize myself anymore.
That’s such a good thing.
Jesus has overcome. Our God is greater. If He is for us, then who the frick with all the power in the world could be against us?
Leaving America to serve overseas is hard. I had to leave my family and friends. I had to let Jesus pick up the pieces that I couldn’t. I had to watch my beloved Seattle from a distance, knowing that I couldn’t minister here. I’m about to do it again.
I weep for this city.
To see so many believers in a concert hall screaming and worshipping God, it made me grin, and weep, and left me wrecked.
You see this city isn’t like other cities.
We don’t have Passion Conference. We don’t have a church on every corner. To know that God is moving, living, breathing, and alive in Seattle was such an encouraging thing to see and hear! My heart was bursting with joy as the night closed.
We sang God of this city.
Maybe every concert ends that way. Maybe it is not unique.
I can say though that I feel Seattle is waking up. People are coming back to Jesus in one of the most unreached areas of the western world.
I was so happy. So happy. I felt like Paul when Jesus told him that many still clung to the faith in the city. That he was not alone.
It was probably the most encouraging time I’ve had in a long time. This big, special, crazy love letter from Jesus.
Sure, thousands have had the same experience.
But Jesus wove this tale of redemption and love through tonight. A story of the last few years. My story. He spoke to me through music and lights and crowds and the story that Louie Giglio told about the prodigal father. Jesus wrapped his arms around me and just grinned and I just knew… I just KNEW…
I’m so glad I trusted him. He was right all along. He was there watching, waiting, leading, giving, sharing, and showing me how much He loves me. He was in the deepest and most painful moments. He was in the joy and the peace of happy days. It was such a good night. A night of remembrance. A night to look back and say thank you to God. A celebration of life. A celebration of my grandfathers life. A celebration of Taiwan. A celebration of heartbreak the leads to growth, repentance.
Love.
It was a sunrise, painted for me in the music of people God has lead with the spirit. It was an invitation to know Jesus more through a gift from Conrad. How could he have known that this would mean so much to me? He didn’t. But Jesus did.
I love life. I love the gifts Jesus gives to his children. It was so intimate.
It was a message only a God could give. Only someone like Jesus could take a saturday night and surprise me with a celebration. A concert that just screamed, “Jake, all those times you felt like giving up. All those hard nights and days. All those tear stained moments of work. This is it. It was worth it. Well done! My GOOD and FAITHFUL servant! I love you. I Love you, I love you, I LOVE YOU! And I am so proud of you. So proud.”
Maybe you are about to enter your own journey. Maybe it is the start of a time of testing and trial. A dark winter. Maybe it is a time of wondering if you will have the victory.
I know what it is like. That fear. That lingering passiveness. That wondering if cling onto the old life, the old sin, the joy of home, the joy of comfort is worth it.
I will tell you one thing. I have no regrets. I have nothing but glazed over joy filled eyes that light up when I think about my journey.
And if you are on the edge of a journey. The edge of a precipice. Just go dude.
Because the sting of staying home, when Jesus is calling, hurts so bad. But the beautiful song of life that drowns us in joy when we fully embrace who Jesus wants us to be… that feels so good.
I could tap dance right now if I knew how.
