Lord I need You.
I need You when I’m weak and tired.
I need You when sin knocks at my door and I have not the strength to fight it anymore.
I need You when it is 7:32 A.M. and I don’t think getting out of bed is worth another shot.
I need You when it is 2:23 A.M. and I cannot sleep because of the different thoughts, voices, and memories running through my head on repeat.
Lord I need You when I go to the store and struggle with my own gluttonous desire to fight emotions with food and caffeine.
Jesus I need You when the party is nice, life is great, it’s fine, but it’s just not the same without Jesus.
Jesus I need You when people ask me why evil exists in the world, to hold them and hold me close, to show us with those big carpenter arms and those nail pierced hands that I need to look inward and not outward. That you loved us enough to save us even though we have ruined this world that you called very good.
Jesus I need You, when I am too tired to spend my energy on investing into another person.
Jesus I need You when I stub my toe, burn my tongue, bump my head, or the little tab thingy comes off of my soda and for some reason that makes me angrier than anything else I ever could’ve known.
Jesus I need You when I get prideful and think I’m better than I ought to think.
Jesus I need You when I once again am saying farewell to someone I loved dearly, whether in life or death.
Jesus I need You when my stomach makes the rumbleys, for I cannot hunt, I cannot cook, I am useless but your sheer grace has given me an abundance of life and food in the midst of economic downturn.
Jesus I need You. Sometimes people say religion is for the week, that Jesus is a crutch, that I became a Christian because I needed someone and I found it in Christianity, that I couldn’t exist or cope without “God" so I need God. Yes. Yes, Jesus, I am so guilty of that. You are the crutch I need because of my feeble weak knees, the hope I need to keep on when life is hard, the strength I need when temptation knocks on my door.
Jesus I need You, when I struggle with judging another person, I need you to turn the light on me and reveal the darkness. Let the cockroaches in my heart flip there cigarettes and humble me before my mouth has time to speak.
Jesus I need You, I can’t speak the language of this people, I am tired and wounded in soul and heart, I cannot on my own power do a thing to reach someone here, yet You equip me in ways I can scarcely believe.
Jesus I need You, when the day is done, the lights are out, and there is no one to talk to.
Jesus I need You so much. I’m sorry for the times I look for pleasure in things that do not satisfy, days that I taste ashes while looking for honey. Jesus, I’m sorry that videogames, television, facebook, email, life, eating, sleeping, traveling, and just hating the morning can cause me to neglect the only person who has NEVER EVER neglected me. I’m sorry for treating you the way I do, like the wayward son who forgets to call. I miss You and I love You Jesus.
Teach me to sing, teach me to dance, teach me to call out to you. Teach me to be desperate, obsessed, passionate, and full of love towards you. Teach me to put You first. Teach me to run towards your heart before I run towards anything else. Teach me to love you in ways I so often forget. Thank you so much for love. Thank you so much for life. Thank you.
This week was all about how Jesus saves. Jesus saves. Jesus saves. Sometimes I forget that. I know how much I need you but I call out to everything but you. Jesus, thank you for the love you've shown me. I'm so sorry for all the times I never waited. The times I cried out and then expected nothing. Thank you Jesus so much for who you are. Everyday you make me more joyful, show me I'm loved, and set me free.
Lord I need you.
Love,
Jake
