I don’t want to write. I don’t have a lot of positive feelings going through me right now. I have a lot of mixed emotions. This is due to varying reasons. I have often stated in my previous blogs how I do not like change. This is very true. I am the person who 40 years from now will go to the same coffee shop every morning and read. I will be the guy that walks in the door and because I have been a patron for so long that they know my name and know what my order is.
Unfortunately for me, sometimes God requires me to get out of my comfort zone. This of course is to grow me into the person he wants me to be and also to help others. However, it doesn’t make the process any easier.
Take the fact that I am in my last week of school. Every year, when the school end is nearing I find myself sad that my students are leaving. However, this year my heart is sad beyond the normal, “You won’t be in my class/ I’ll see you next year” routine. I have worked at my current school for three years. During that time, the families and children have welcomed me into their lives and families. The amount of love and support I have received in my first years of teaching has been humbling. This leads to me being heartbroken this week.
Today, I took just a brief moment to tell my class how much they all mean to me. How each one of them holds a special place in my heart. This makes the goodbye’s in the coming days more difficult, seeing as I have spent an enormous amount of time with them the last several months.
The one thing that I am continuing to remind myself of is that God has big plans for me. This chapter of my life is closing and another is opening. In order for me to follow my dreams of going around the world and serving others, I am having to step out of my comfort zone and experience some sadness and heartbreak. Although this process is difficult, I am sure it will all be worth it in the end.
