I’m super excited to come home.
To think that this journey will be complete in a matter of weeks just freaks me out. Its nuts. It’s surreal. 11 months away from home. 11 months away from my community. 11 months away from all that is normal and ordinary to me. 11 months.
But if I can be honest with you, I’m nervous. Completely, almost paralyzing, nervous. I’m nervous about one particular thing. One thing that I hate to talk about, despise with every ounce of my bone marrow, and yet can’t get rid of, can’t live without, can’t seem to run away from, and that’s this piece of paper called money.
Money.
Money.
Just the word makes me bummed and overwhelmed. I’m scared to go back home because of money. It’s something I need but don’t have. It’s something I despise, but can’t seem to get away from. If there’s one thing in common with missionaries, it’s that we are broke. It costs to travel, costs to eat, costs to do mission work, costs to get around, costs to give, costs to love, costs to go, and it’s going to costs to get back home. I’m anxious coming home completely broke. It’s hard not to have money. I don’t like asking for money, even from my parents. It was hard enough to ask for money fundraising, and I thought that when I was done fundraising I wouldn’t have to worry about money again. I have a hard time feeling like I’m the “always asking for money missionary Christian kid”, like the pastor who talks about tithing too much at the church. And here on the mission field, I’m holding onto my money, knowing I’ll need it for when I get home, but anxious about missing out on things overseas here in the beautiful places I’m traveling to. And with a missionary diet like snacks, soft drinks, and chips as an escape from weird, unusual foreign food, chewing up the only money you do have, I get stressed about what I have, what I should buy now, and what I should save for later, and in that stressed I find myself buying too little of what I should buy, too much of what I shouldn’t buy, saving when I should spend, spending when I should save, and get so bummed out with this piece of paper I just want to throw my debit card into the Indian Ocean and let it get devoured by the great white sharks that swim on Cape Town’s coast.
I feel humiliated asking for money. It’s a place God is humbling me in; asking for help, specifically in finances. It just feels weird. Blah.
But I’m going to.
I’m praying God will humble me more and more, being desperate for Him and humble enough to ask for help when I need it.
I don’t want to end this journey stressed out about the future, forgetting about being in the present, and creating a past I’ll regret not living to its fullest. I don’t want to be here in beautiful South Africa, ministering to the nations for the last time on this adventure God has brought me on, only to be stressed, anxious, and worried because I haven’t humbled myself before the Lord and asked for help. I can’t be helped if I don’t ask. So here I go.
I’m asking you.
You’ve followed me on my journey these past months, seeing what God has done in the nations. You’ve supported me throughout thick and thin, danger and poverty, health and sickness, from country to country. Will you help me one last time on this journey? Would you donate to my personal account? You’ve helped me start this Race and stay on this Race. Will you please help me now to begin the transition of coming off the Race and begin a new chapter in my kingdom journey?
To write a check, please send it to my address:
621 East Church Street Apt B
Orlando, FL 32813
If you can and want to donate into my bank account, feel free to email me:
Thank you for your continued support.
No, really, thank you.
You’re like the sane friend I’ve had this whole time, listening to me and my stories, giving me a shoulder to cry on, constantly helping me when I need it, and encouraging me through all that the world’s thrown at me. I don’t think I could have done this trip without you. Thank you. I've been dreaming of what God has for me next! It's exciting, it's wild, it's so much more then what I've ever imagined. I'll be sharing it with you soon!
See you in less then a month!
Thy kingdom come.
Your friendly neighborhood missionary,
Jake
