“I'm not coming home.”
I whispered that to myself as I lay on my makeshift mattress a couple nights ago. This time it wasn’t about fundraising (although I really need your help raising my last bit of financial support for my trip!) I said it because, for the first time on this trip, I’ve considered staying.
Malaysia has been the greatest country I’ve been to. I have talked dreamily of moving here, or another Muslim-based nation. I figured that with $15,500, the same amount for this trip, going into paying rent, I could live here in a 3 bedroom apartment for 4 years. That’s not bad. There’s an unreached people here, the Gospel needs to be preached, disciples need to be made, plus the food is amazing, the cultures are extraordinary, the people are lovely, the weather is great, so why not? I think for the first time since I’ve been on this trip, I’ve really considered staying in this country. Sure, don’t get me wrong, all of the other countries have been amazing. But Malaysia is different. Maybe it’s because Muslims make up the majority? Maybe it’s because the government oppresses its people from human rights? Maybe it’s because tandoori chicken and cheese naan are just so darn good that I don’t want to go on living without it?
Whatever the case, I love this place.
There’s no toilet paper in most of the bathroom stalls (you have to use a water hose-like contraption most of the time instead.) People drive on the opposite side of the road, which is always fun to get use to. You have to be careful with offending culture and religion, and with all sorts of cultures and religions, it can be kinda tricky. And the worst part of it all, there’s no Chick-Fil-A.
Sounds terrible.
So why consider staying?
Well, why not?
I don’t like the term “short-term missions”, for one reason: it’s an oxymoron. There’s no such thing. “Short-term” and “missions” don't go together. All our lives, we are on mission. The amazing missionary Adoniram Judson once stated that the motto for every missionary, no matter what they did or where they were, should be “Devoted For Life.” Missions aren’t a matter of individual calling, but the calling of the Church as a whole. Our lives should be mission intentional, our lives reflecting the Great Commission. But more times then I’d like to admit, I use to live like a “Rabbit-Hole” Christian. Many of us live like that.
In the morning we pop out of our safe Christian homes, scurry into work, hold our breath in hopes we don’t have to talk to anyone (especially about Jesus) survive until Sunday where we seclude ourselves in the same seats at church, and finally end the week with praying for the lost people we safely avoided all week long.
I don’t think that’s what Jesus meant when He said “Go.” You and I are missionaries- to our jobs, to our friends, to our family, to the world. If there is any zeal, passion, and fire inside our hearts, I pray it’s for going out into the dying world and burning like a candle inside the darkness of a cave. So it’s not a matter of calling because we are all called to be missionaries. The matter is location.
Since you’re reading my blog, I’ll give you some new revelation I’ve gotten in regards to "overseas missions."
Isn’t it strange that we would move across states, even to other countries, for a better job and a promotion, but not for Christ? Hudson Taylor, the famous missionary to China, found it rather peculiar that Englishmen would sail over on their merchant ships from England all the way to China, suffering through dangerous storms and life-threatening oceans all for the sake of money, but not for the sake of the Gospel? Over a hundred years later, have we changed? We’ll sell our house and move our whole family to another state or country for our jobs, but how quickly are we to do that for the lost people of the world? Of course we would move for money. We love it. Some would say we need it. But what if we could replace money and put people? We love people. We need to move because we love God’s people. Jesus loved us so much He moved from His heavenly dwelling into our wretched, broken, dying world and incarnated Himself in the weakness and filth of our human, frail flesh, lived the perfect life we could not live and died the death we could not die to atone for our sins, all through love so we could be saved. And if we are to reflect this love to the rest of the world, how does it look when we stay behind the white picket fence of America and give a few dollars to a charity to help out from a distance?
I don’t want to regret how I steward the time and years God has given me. I want to discover and taste and drink from the true, deep, unending wells of joy found in a life saturated in devotion to Christ and the Gospel. What there’s besides that: a life of small trinkets of wordly passion and frivolous comforts? I want to call everything I have rubbish compared to the surpassing knowledge of Jesus Christ and the joy of the Lord. I want what God wants. And no, that’s not anything the world can give me. God’s greatest desire is for His people, throughout the entire world, to come to know Him and find joy in glorifying His name. This is His passion. I want it to be mine as well.
And please believe me, I’m not a professional. I don’t want to criticize the work of God in and through me through this trip. But I’m 5 months into an 11 month mission trip. I’m not a scholar of missions. I’m not an example to follow. I sin, I hurt others, I get homesick, I get tired, I fall short more times then I’d like to admit, and I don’t know what I’m doing most of the time. But if anything, I really hope that by me being here on this trip, it would motivate someone, motivate you, to abandon yourself and follow Jesus, no matter what that means and no matter where He tells you to go. I have, and am continuing to do so, and I can’t imagine do anything else with my life. To be here on the mission field, here in Malaysia, on this journey has been the most life-changing time in the 22 years of my existence. I wouldn’t trade anything for it. So please know that I’m not trying to boast in myself. I'm not anyone special. I’m a nobody. But praise be to God that I’m a nobody telling anybody and everybody about Somebody anywhere and everywhere !
And that Somebody is Jesus Christ.
I could move here to Malaysia. I could. And there are deep parts of my soul that dance with joy at this thought. I could spend a good portion of my life here amongst the Malay Muslims, the Chinese Buddhist, the Indian Hindus, the Indigenous, the Burmese refugees, the Laos migrant workers, and all who call this country their home. Am I going to move to this closed country? Who knows but God? I still have 5 more countries to explore and love (that’s only if I raise enough funds to meet my final deadline! PLEASE help support me financially!)
The beautiful reality I found through this immense desire of wanting to stay in Malaysia is the renewed peace of surrendering all expectations of what I want from God and coming to this sweet place of just receiving whatever it is God wants for me, wherever He has called me to go. Missions isn’t easy. It’s not just a walk in the park. But it’s not hard to go. It’s tangible. It’s right there. All you need to do is ask the Lord to send you. If we’re willing to move our families, sell our homes, change our lifestyles, to move to another state or country because of a job, how much more are we willing to do it for the reason why we’re alive? I’m willing to go wherever it is God has for me. I pray you are as well.
"A God-centered theology must be a missionary theology. If you say that you love the glory of God, the test of your authenticity is whether you love the spread of that glory among all the peoples of the world. Or another way to say it is that worship is the fuel and the goal of missions. Missions exists because worship doesn't. God's passion is to be known and honored and worshipped among all the peoples. To worship Him is to share that passion for His supremacy among the nations."
– John Piper
All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.
– Jesus Christ, Matthew 28:18-20
