Something I've learned the past few weeks is that God is in the details. I've heard this, I know this… But I'm not sure I've ever experienced it in a profound way until now. I've been so touched by the prayers God has answered in my life, large and small, and I want to share with you exactly how He has revealed Himself to me in the last month.
Something that weighed heavily on my heart when deciding to go on The Race were the details that would have to be arranged in order for me to go. It was such a large step of faith knowing there were so many loose ends in my life that needed to be taken care of if I was to spend the next year in the mission field. One of those things was graduating from college… And the major thing holding me back from graduation could have been an internship. It was a fear that I was forced to surrender to God daily and so often it consumed me. I would spend hours looking for internships, applying to internships and feeling such an intense need to figure something out NOW. I longed for the security of having a degree in my hands by the time I jumped on that plane to our first country. But God had other plans and a different schedule. He was telling me to wait and to trust Him… Two things I'm not nearly good enough at. And so I waited… and I prayed… and I followed so many leads and opportunities that proved to be nothing more than bunny trails. There were two things that I was forced to surrender to the Lord at this time:
- First, I had to let go of the idea that I'd be able to intern in West Michigan and be able to live with my family before leaving for the year. The idea broke my heart (and crushed my mom even more) but I knew it wasn't something I was entitled to. God very well may have called me away from my family to serve Him elsewhere. And this meant applying to internships outside of Michigan.
- It also got to the point where I was forced to say, "Okay God. Maybe you're calling me to the mission field without a college degree. Maybe I'm supposed to wait to graduate. Maybe the last three years of my life have been merely preparation for this trip and not about a college degree at all." And that was hard. SO hard. I didn't want it to be the case, but I know God has done crazier things so I was prepared to accept that. I made a commitment to go on The Race if God provided a way and decided that degree or no degree, if the funds were there, I'd be leaving in September.
All the while I was wrestling with God there was a constant contact in my long list of unsuccessful attempts at solidifying an internship… An organization that responded to every e-mail, was upfront and excited about opportunities, but it wasn't what I originally planned on doing with my summer. You see, I had committed September and on to God… But this summer? This summer was mine and I held so tightly to the original plans I had to use this precious, yet tiny, window of time to continue to advance myself professionally while I could. I mean, I was committing a year to the Lord, setting aside my career and all… He couldn't possibly be asking me to surrender my summer to Him as well, could He?! Oh yes… He could. And He did. So I scheduled an interview with this organization, knowing full well that God was leading me to do so. And as always, God blew me away with His faithfulness. I sat in the office of the director of the Muskegon Rescue Mission and listened to him and the development director explain the mission of the rescue, the heart behind the services and the ways they've seen God work in recent years. My heart came alive listening to stories of lives changed and the way God continues to meet their needs. These people were passionate about their job and the people they serve and I knew this was the place that God was calling me to spend my summer at. I drove home in tears, humbled by God's awesome power and the work He is doing in places I never would have thought of. And also humbled by my change of heart. I spent the next week praying that God would allow me the privilege of serving Him at the rescue mission and trusting that if it was meant to be that the doors would open. And a week later I got the call… I was offered a position as a media intern at the Muskegon Rescue Mission. Praise God. So not only am I blessed by being able to graduate from college before I leave, but I also get to soak in precious family time before leaving for my year abroad. Praise God… Like I said, He is in the details!!
For so long I've been fighting the plans God has for me right now… For some reason I've been in denial that God is obviously calling me into the mission field, both at home and abroad. I fight and fight for control over my life, to arrange things in a way that looks most benefiting to me. But I've been reminded yet again how great His plan is for our lives. We think we know exactly how we want things to look and what will be best for us, but ultimately we must look to the Lord for this understanding rather than relying on our own strength. I know God is going to work in my heart and challenge me professionally this summer in ways I can't even imagine right now… And I'm so grateful that He allowed me to get to the point of complete surrender so that He may become greater in my life. Because shouldn't that be our ultimate goal? Becoming less so God can become more? So often I forget this, but I'm so thankful for the grace God continues to extend.
So, one more detail taken care of and one step closer to leaving for The World Race. I couldn't be more excited and confident that I'm heading in the right direction. At the beginning of the month a thought crossed my mind that I wanted to have $1,000 in my support account by the end of March. I didn't hold tightly to this goal because I've hardly gotten any support letters out and comparatively, very few people know about my trip… But it's popped in my mind here and there the last couple of weeks and every time I've breathed a simple prayer asking God to continue to provide according to His will. I'm so thrilled to say that this last weekend I looked in my support account and have officially raised $1,250. I can't believe it… I'm literally in shock and wanted to write a completely different blog about this awesome answer to prayer but I just can't wait. Do you see?! God IS working!! I'm resting in the fact that my fate lies in His hands… And let me tell you, there's no better place to be!
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
"He must become greater; I must become less.” John 3:30
"Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere; I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of the wicked." Psalm 84:10
